Ten Years Gone: a sequel to Say it to Me Now
by miznik
Summary: Takes place immediately after the epilogue to Say it to Me Now. Byron and Jeff reconnect at their ten year high school reunion. Byron still loves Jeff, so why is he so reluctant to rekindle the relationship? Slash. M in later chapters. COMPLETED 12/14/10
1. Chapter 1

1**A/N: This is a sequel to my earlier story, Say it to Me Now. It picks up right where the epilogue left off - ten years after Byron and Jeff graduated high school. It's not really necessary to have read that entire story, but please go back and read the epilogue if you haven't. Reading the whole story may be helpful as there will be some random references to what happened in Say it to Me Now. **

**Chapter One: Room 207**

They broke apart. Jeff glanced over Byron's shoulder and saw Jordan and Corrie smiling widely at them. Jeff reached down and grabbed Byron's hand.

"Shh," he reassured Byron, whose face was shining with tears. "What should we do?"

"Do you want to go in?" Byron looked toward the front of the hotel, wiping at his eyes.

Jeff shrugged. "The last time I saw most of these people, you were dragging me in to your parents' basement after Mel Tucker and Adam outed us in front of most of the graduating class."

Byron smiled faintly at the memory. "You left for California soon after. People talked about us for years."

Jeff smiled. "Stoneybrook. What would a small town be without some good gossip?"

Byron shifted and looked over his shoulder, "We'll meet you guys in there, all right?" he said to Jordan and Corrie.

They nodded, and before heading in to the hotel, Jordan strode over and gave Jeff a hug. "It's good to see you again."

"Christ, Jordan," Jeff said, surprised, and patted Jordan on the shoulder. "You too."

Jordan and Corrie went inside, leaving Byron and Jeff standing on the sidewalk in front of the hotel, shuffling their feet and looking at each other, neither quite sure what to say to the other one.

Finally, Byron spoke up. "Um. So. You didn't want to go in there, then?" He jerked his head toward the entrance to the hotel.

"I have a better idea," Jeff said, and he strode off to the entrance.

Byron was confused, but followed Jeff anyway. When Jeff got into the hotel entrance, instead of turning left to get to the ballrooms, he went up to the front desk. He grabbed his wallet out of his back pocket and pulled out his credit card. "I'd like a room, please." He told the lady at the counter. Her name tag said Helene.

Byron's eyes widened, heart skipped a beat. He couldn't believe this, things were happening so fast. His head was nearly spinning.

Helene glanced up at Jeff and looked at Byron next to him, then typed away on her computer. "I have a room with two doubles." She said taking Jeff's credit card.

"Do you have one king?"

Helene did a double-take, pursed her lips and went back to the computer. "Mmm-hmm. There is one king, but it's a smoking room." She didn't look either of them in the eye.

Jeff turned to Byron, "Will a smoking room bother you?"

Byron shook his head.

"That's fine, then." Jeff said to Helene. Helene was silent as she ran Jeff's credit card through the machine and charged the electronic keys.

Helen handed the keys to Jeff, along with a receipt to sign. "Room 207" she said curtly, still refusing to look at either Jeff or Byron.

"Thank you so very much," Jeff said voice dripping with sugar.

Jeff and Byron turned and walked to the hotel. "People piss me off," Jeff said.

Byron shrugged. This is the type of thing that would have bothered him as a teenager, but which he'd learned quickly to be immune to. He wondered why Jeff hadn't learned it by now.

The rest of the way down the hall and up the elevator and to room 207, they were silent. Both thinking their own thoughts, which were strikingly similar in nature. Neither could believe that the other had showed up. Neither could believe that the other was willing to take that step in to room 207. Byron had a feeling in the pit of his stomach that crossing the threshold into room 207 was akin to starting a new phase in his life. It was just something...a sixth sense if you will, that he had about this moment.

When Jeff opened the door, Byron stepped in, expecting to feel some jolt of electricity, or to see some kind of sign about this momentous occasion. Instead, what he found was an ordinary hotel room. It looked as generic as every other chain hotel room he'd ever been to. Beige carpet, king size bed with a green patterned comforter, four medium pillows, out of date television inside a fiber-board wardrobe, desk with a stained chair in the corner, two night stands on either side of the bed, closet next to the front door, and small bathroom across from that. Exactly what any person would expect to see coming into a hotel room.

Jeff held the door open for Byron and shut the door with a quiet click while Byron gave the room a once over. Rather than walking the whole way in to the room, Byron stood by the door, and after Jeff finished locking the chain (a habit he'd gotten in to from living in several apartments in less than savory neighborhoods) and turned around, Byron immediately pressed Jeff back into the door and kissed him deeply.

Jeff responded with a deep moan and closed his eyes as he let the feel, the familiarity, of Byron's kiss wash over him. Byron grabbed Jeff's hands and pressed them up against the door to either side of Jeff's face. Byron kissed Jeff's checks, his ears, his neck and across his throat, back up to the lips.

Jeff responded by bucking his hips in to Byron's. Byron pulled his body away slightly, so that there was a couple inches of space between their pelvises. Jeff tried to shift, to get his lower body closer to Byron's, but Byron strengthened his grip on Jeff's hands, keeping him helpless.

Jeff knew. He knew what Byron was doing, that Byron needed to feel control over this situation. That Byron felt a lack of control when he, Jeff, had dumped Byron and this was his way of wresting control back from him. Initially, Jeff relaxed, happy to let Byron control him in this manner. But when his arms started to grow weary from being pinned up against the door, he started to resist harder.

"Let go," he pleaded with Byron.

"Why should I?" Byron asked, finally sinking his hips back in to Jeff's and grinding a few times. "It feels like you like it."

"My arms," Jeff whispered, barely able to feel them at all now.

Byron tightened his grip on Jeff's hands and pushed them even harder into the door. "What about your arms?"

"They hurt," Jeff squeezed his eyes shut, but was still rubbing his hips into Byron's, both of their denim-encased erections bumping. "They're going numb."

Byron let Jeff's hands go suddenly and he stepped away. Jeff slowly lowered his arms with a wince as blood rushed back into them.

"It sucks to hurt so bad you go numb, doesn't it?" Byron asked. He turned and walked to the bed.

Jeff was briskly rubbing his upper arms with his hands. He stopped for a moment to consider what Byron had just said. "What?" he asked.

Byron lay down on the bed, face up. "To hurt so bad that you feel numb." Byron repeated. "That was me, freshman year of college. I damn near failed out that year because I was too hurt, too numb to give a damn about anything else."

Jeff perched on the edge of the bed. "I'm sorry."

"What the hell _happened?_" Byron asked. He sat partially up, resting on his elbows. "That's the thing. You just never explained, and wouldn't answer me when I asked you to."

Jeff bit his lip. "I did a bad thing."

Byron didn't answer, but gave Jeff a look that clearly indicated he'd better tell him exactly what bad thing he did.

Jeff sighed. "I got drunk and slept with someone else."

"Real nice."

Jeff buried his hands into his face. "Byron, come on. I broke up with you because I couldn't forgive myself for that. Because I knew you deserved better than me."

Byron shook his head. "Shouldn't it be _me _that got to forgive you. Shouldn't I be the one who decides what I deserve?"

Jeff took his hands away from his face and looked at Byron, suspiciously. "So you would have been fine if I'd told you the truth?"

"I didn't say that. I wouldn't be _Fine._" Byron thought a minute. "But at least I could have walked away from you knowing what'd happened. That you did something stupid. And if I wanted to forgive you, I could have. But you didn't even give me that chance."

"I don't deserve to be forgiven."

"It's not up to you to decide if you're forgiven."

Jeff looked at Byron helplessly. "So? Do you forgive me?"

"What for?" Byron challenged him.

"For sleeping with Gil. For sleeping with someone else." Jeff said.

"Damn, Jeff. You really don't get it, do you?" Byron's voice was raised.

Jeff looked down at his hands, "I guess not."

"I don't give a shit about Gil. That was ten years ago. Jesus Christ, you've obviously beat yourself up enough about it already. Let me guess, you can't trust yourself, so you've spent the last ten years completely avoiding relationships. Am I right?"

Jeff stared silently at Byron, wondering how Byron was able to read him better than he could read himself.

"What I care about," Byron continued, "Is that you broke up with me with no explanation. At this point, I care more that you didn't _tell_ me about Gil than the fact that you slept with him in the first place. Don't you get it? It would have been easier to get over you if I'd known what you did. Instead you left me to wallow for months, wondering what _I'd_ done wrong."

Jeff stared at Byron, dumbfounded. "You're really more angry that I broke up with you the wrong way?"

"Yes!"

"That's fucking ridiculous."

"I'm ridiculous now?" Byron stood up and started striding toward the door. Jeff got up and grabbed his elbow. Byron shook him off violently.

"Don't go!" Jeff pleaded, grabbing back on to Byron's elbow.

"This was a mistake," Byron said, but he stopped walking toward the door and looked at Jeff. "I don't know what I'm doing here."

"The same thing I'm doing here." Jeff answered.

"Which is?"

Jeff was silent for a minute. "Taking a chance on the past."

Byron didn't say anything.

"How've these last ten years treated you, Byron?" Jeff asked quietly.

Byron shrugged. "I've only had two boyfriends. They were both a mistake," he admitted.

"I've had about a hundred boyfriends in ten years." Byron looked up, shocked. Jeff noticed the look on his face and added, "if _boyfriend_ is even the right word."

Byron looked around the hotel room, not saying anything, now knowing what to say, trying to wrap his mind around a hundred men in ten years.

"I just...." Jeff trailed off. "I need to be absolved of these last ten years. We're perfect for each other, you know that."

"We aren't the same people we were when we were eighteen." Byron warned.

"And thank god for that," Jeff added, taking a tentative step closer to Byron. "We're better now. Older. Wiser."

Byron laughed ruefully. "Older anyway."

Jeff took Byron by the elbow and led him back to the bed. Byron went willingly. They sat gingerly on the edge of the bed, holding hands silently. Jeff leaned in to kiss Byron, quickly on the lips as though he were dipping his toe into the frigid Atlantic Ocean.

Byron responded warmly and within a minute, shoes were shed, comforter was pulled down and both men were lying on the bed. The kissing and touching was familiar, though both were getting reacquainted with the others' ten year older body.

Slowly, clothes were coming off. Socks first, then shirts were removed, then pants until both were in nothing but their tented boxer shorts. Jeff stared hard at Byron's body, eyes moving up and down, drinking him in entirely. Byron crossed his arms over his chest and hunched over, "I've gained a little weight," he admitted. "I don't eat right or exercise," he noted, looking at Jeff's lean muscular frame.

"You look perfect," Jeff whispered, reaching out and grazing the flat of his thumb over Byron's nipple. Byron shuddered and sighed.

It was like riding a bike. They both remembered so clearly what the other man liked, what he disliked. When finally Jeff was lying face up, knees drawn up to his chest, Byron ran to the bathroom and came back with the small bottle of hand lotion. He held it up, "Sorry, I don't carry lube on me."

Jeff shook his head. "There's a condom in my wallet, pre-lubed."

"Do we really need-" Byron broke off remembering _one hundred guys in ten years._ "Yeah, OK."

He reached into Jeff's pants pocket and pulled out the wallet and opened it up to find three condoms. He held up all three. "You were planning on needing three?"

Jeff shrugged and smiled, "Hoping."

Byron tore open the silver wrapper and rolled the condom on. Jeff brought his knees to his chest and lay, relaxed, as Byron pushed in to him. Almost immediately they fell into a rhythm. Slow and methodical at first, but quickly becoming fast and furious. Jeff fisted himself as Byron thrusted harder and harder.

The grunts, the yells, the calls of "Oh God," could probably be heard in the next room, given the state of cheap drywall in a chain hotel. But neither of them cared.

_________

Afterwards, they lay in bed, wrapped in each others' arms talking quietly.

"How long are you in town?" Byron asked.

"A week. You?"

Byron shrugged, "I can stay as long as I want. Summer vacation started last Wednesday."

"Summer vacation? Shit, Byron. Are you still in school?"

"What? Jeff, no! I'm a teacher."

"You're a teacher?" Jeff asked. "Adam never told me that."

"You still talk to Adam? He never told me that!"

"Yeah, I guess it was a secret. But we hardly ever talked about you. So what do you teach?"

Byron sighed and ticked off on his hands, "Junior High Band, Junior High Chorus, Senior High Band, Senior High Chorus, Junior High General Music. Plus guitar and voice lessons to those who want after school."

"How many want?"

Byron looked at him like he was nuts. "This is a Manhattan prep school we're talking about. One sad lonely outcast takes guitar and a handful of girls whose rich daddies have assured them they're the next pop princess take voice. Half of the other kids are killing themselves to get in to MIT. The other half are coasting on their parents' dimes until the trust fund kicks in. Neither are a group that cares much about good music."

"I'll bet that guitar student is your favorite."

"Damn right. He's gay too."

"How do you know?"

"He told me."

"Really?" Jeff considered this. "I never would have told a teacher when I was in high school."

Byron shrugged. "This kid's got no one. His parents are basket cases. He's shy and doesn't make friends easily. One day last year when I was looking through my desk drawer, an old photo of me with Thomas Not Tom fell out. This kid, Alex is his name, asked who it was in the photo and I was honest. I told him that was an ex-boyfriend. I wouldn't have said that to any other student. I would have said my brother or something. But I knew Alex wouldn't tell anyone, because, well, he doesn't really have anyone to tell."

"So you're not out at work?"

Byron shrugged, "It's not that I'm in the closet. If asked by another teacher, I'd tell the truth. But I'm a music teacher. I'm a little bit of a non-entity in that school. Me and the art teacher slash drama teacher are like this though," Byron held up his hand with two crossed fingers. "We totally get each other." Jeff laughed, and Byron began playing with Jeff's blond hair, twirling it between his fingers. "How about you? What're you doing?"

"I'm a chef."

"Really?" Byron was impressed. "You went to culinary school?"

Jeff laughed, "No. I'm a proud graduate of the school of hard knocks."

"How'd you get into the cooking business?"

Jeff sighed, "I failed out of UCLA-"

Byron sat up straighter, "You failed out?"

Jeff nodded. "Why? Does that make you feel better about yourself?"

"A little," Byron admitted. "I only _almost_ failed out."

Jeff shrugged, "I was a worthless student. So I worked at a ton of different jobs, then my mom died and I wanted something more permanent. So I applied at this place. Byron, do you know what it's called?"

"What?"

"The Pike Natural Food Market and Restaurant. Pike, it was the only reason I applied. So I waited tables, made friends with the chef, and she taught me everything I now know. When she left, the owners named me the head chef."

"Will you cook me something?"

"It's a vegan restaurant."

"Ugh. Never mind."

"Byron, I promise this food is good."

"Speaking of food. I'm fucking hungry."

Jeff smiled, suddenly remembering Byron's insatiable appetite. He glanced at the bedside clock, "Well, we missed appetizers and cocktail hour. But I bet we can make it to the reunion in time for dinner."

"Will that require moving?" Byron asked, burrowing his head into Jeff's neck.

"Unfortunately." Jeff smiled.

"Ahh..." Byron said. "Yeah, let's go. You don't care that everyone will be talking about us?"

"Nah," Jeff said. "I'm pretty much past that."

"_Let's give 'em something to talk about. A little mystery to figure out._" Byron sang in his best Bonnie Raite impression.

Jeff laughed and threw a pillow at Byron's head. "Come on. Let's get dressed."

They got dressed quickly and ran down the stairs to the lobby.

Jeff sauntered over to the front desk, where Helene was busy filing her nails. Jeff tossed the electronic keys on to the front desk, "Here. We're checking out."

Helene looked up at him and narrowed her eyes slightly. She started typing in the computer. "You only checked in an hour and a half ago." She sounded disapproving.

"Yeah. And now we're finished," Jeff told her with an obvious wink. Helene blushed so deeply that Byron had to choke on his laughter.

Helene shifted uncomfortably, "I mean you still have to pay for a whole night. This is not a motel with hourly rates." She still refused to look either Jeff or Byron in the eye.

"Fine," Jeff said and walked toward Byron, taking him by the hand and walking in to the ballroom.

They found Jordan and Corrie sitting at a table with Shea Rodowsky and his wife. There were two empty chairs, so Jeff and Byron sidled in to them.

"Where've you been?" Jordan asked. "People were asking about you."

Byron shrugged. "We were talking." He looked around, "When's food?"

Shea laughed, "Yeah. _Talking_." He smirked.

Jeff leaned over and smacked Shea on the top of his head lightly then leaned back in his chair. "We were getting reacquainted."

Shea, Jordan and Corrie all laughed at this, but Shea's wife looked nonplussed. Shea, noting the expression on her face, pointed to Jeff and Byron. "They were together all through senior year in high school."

"I think you guys win the prize for the first official reunion hookup. Most people will be waiting until after getting drunk in a few hours to make that regretful trip to a room upstairs." Shea said to them.

"Well, I don't drink. So maybe that's why we did it earlier."

"You don't drink?" Byron asked.

Jeff shook his head. "Not anymore. Three years sober."

Byron asked quietly, "Why didn't you say-"

"It didn't come up." Jeff answered quickly.

The other couples at the table kindly looked away during this exchange. Corrie poked Byron in the side, "Look. Food."

The food was being rolled out on long tables. It would be a buffet. Byron's stomach rumbled, but he first looked longingly at the bar, thinking he'd kill for a scotch right now, but he didn't think he should drink in front of Jeff. So he sipped his water.

Dinner was pleasant. They were joined briefly by Haley Braddock, who inquired after Adam only to drift away upon being told that Adam was in Africa. Jordan and Corrie told horror stories about the first year of parenthood, only to have Shea let it slip that he and his wife just found out they were expecting. Shea's wife, Molly, slugged him in the side of his arm. "We weren't _telling_ anyone yet." She looked around the table, "We only just found out last week," she explained.

Byron told stories about his students, and everyone shook their heads at the shit these kids today were pulling, that _we never would have done when we were in high school_. Jeff complained about the meat-heavy hotel food, and spoke about being a vegan chef.

No one at their table danced, but they did watch as others danced. People got up, mingled. But Byron and Jeff both noticed a lot of stares their way. It obviously didn't bother Jeff, who'd occasionally sling his arm across Byron's shoulders, or pat him on the leg. And it probably wouldn't have bothered Byron either, if only he'd felt comfortable enough for a couple of drinks.

As the night drew near an end, Jeff and Byron stood up. "Come over," Jeff said. "Say hi to Richard."

Byron agreed, told Jordan that he wasn't coming home with them and bade them good night. And into the warm early-summer air, Byron and Jeff walked hand-in-hand back to the car.


	2. Dee's Worries

**Richard. Dee.**

Pulling up to the old barn house on Burnt Hill Road, Byron noticed that only one light was on. "Is Richard up?" he asked Jeff.

Jeff nodded. "He doesn't sleep well anymore. Not since mom died."

"Oh." Byron's heart ached for Richard, who'd always been so good to him and Jeff.

"He'll be happy to see you," Jeff said. "He always liked you."

"Better than any of your other boyfriends?"

"I never introduced any of them to him. But yeah, he would have liked you the best if I had."

Byron blushed as he and Jeff exited the car and made their way up to the front door. Jeff got out his keys and started to unlock the door, before realizing it was unlocked. "Stoneybrook," Jeff mumbled. "One of the few places on Earth you can still leave your doors unlocked."

Byron followed Jeff into the den. Richard was sitting on the sofa, The History Channel was on, but Richard was lost in a book.

"Richard," Jeff called. Richard looked up, surprised.

"Jeff! Did you have a good time?" Then he realized who'd stepped into the room behind Jeff. "Byron." Richard stood up and shook Byron's hand, with a genuine smile on his face. "Have a seat," he ushered Jeff and Byron into the room toward the couch as he moved over to the barca lounger.

"How _are_ you, Byron?" Richard asked. "I haven't seen you in years."

"I'm good, sir. How are you?"

"I'm hanging in there," Richard answered.

"Richard. Byron's a music teacher now," Jeff mentioned.

"Really?" Richard asked raising his eyebrows. "Isn't that interesting?"

In chatting with Richard, Jeff learned some things about Byron that he hadn't known. Like that Byron last year received his Master's degree in music education, that he lives with Nicky who is a surgical resident, that he almost converted to Judaism, and that Mallory was working as a speech writer for the Governor of Connecticut. Byron learned a few things about Jeff as well. That he still surfs almost every morning, that he briefly lived with Dawn and her boyfriend right after starting to work at Pike, and that he was recently named best newcomer chef by L.A. magazine.

Finally it was nearly one o'clock in the morning and Richard let a bleary-eyed Jeff and Byron go upstairs and get some sleep.

As Byron and Jeff were undressing, getting ready for bed, Byron whispered, "Ten years."

"What?" Jeff asked, confused about where Byron was going with this.

"I missed out on ten years of knowing you. I didn't know you still surf, or about living with Dawn for a while or that article about you in the magazine. You didn't even know that I'd gotten my Master's degree or that I had a crisis of religion."

"Yeah, what the hell was up with that anyway?" Jeff asked.

Byron shrugged. "It was for a guy. Omer, from Israel."

"What stopped you?"

Byron looked at him, "My natural skepticism of religion for one. And that I have no desire to get circumcised at my age."

Jeff smiled, and ran his fingers lightly over Byron's boxers around the shape of his cock, and agreed, "Yeah, why ruin a good thing?"

Byron stepped back, away from Jeff's touch. "My point is, that we missed out on ten years of each other. Are we supposed to just fall back in to place? Because I don't think we can." Jeff was silent for a moment and Byron continued, "I mean. We live on different coasts. So let's say we spend this whole week that you're here together. And we have a wonderful time. What's it matter? You're still going to leave for California."

Jeff went very still. "Can we just focus on this week? That's all right now, that's all I can think about. Let's not worry about the future. Can't we just enjoy each other's company right this second and talk about this later?"

"Are you just trying to avoid thinking about it?"

"Yes," Jeff admitted. "But what else _can_ we do? Look, we reconnected at the reunion, right? And I know I feel like there's still something here between us, and I don't think you can deny that, can you?

"No. I feel it too." Byron admitted.

"So, we live this week. We hang out. We spend time together. We get reacquainted. We learn everything there is to know about what happened in ten years to each other. OK? Let's just work on that now. Who knows? Maybe in five days we'll be sick of each other."

Byron, always more of a planner and more cautious than Jeff, wanted to argue. But Jeff's points were surprisingly good.

As they snuggled in under the covers of Jeff's tiny twin bed still leftover from his childhood, Jeff felt content and fell asleep nearly instantly. Byron, normally not one to lay awake for long periods of time, brooded for nearly an hour before following Jeff to sleep.

* * *

Byron and Jeff were both jolted awake by the sound of Byron's cell phone ringing in his jeans pocket. He reached down and fumbled for his jeans, found the phone and brought it to his ear, all without getting up out of bed or even opening his eyes.

"Hello?" He mumbled.

"Byron?" It was his mother. "Where are you?"

"Jeff's." Byron answered, finally opening his eyes and rubbing the sleep out of the corners of his eyes. Jeff rolled over and snuggled into Byron's side, kissing his chest lightly.

"You're at Jeff's?"

"Yeah. Well, Jeff's old house."

"Oh." It sounded to Byron like she was trying very hard to be non-judgmental. "Are you coming home? Remember you told Claire you'd help her move."

"Yeah, I'll be there. When's the truck coming?"

"Your dad is at U-Haul right now picking it up."

"Give me a half hour." They hung up and Byron turned to Jeff. "Want to help my sister move?"

"Which one?"

"Claire, she's moving to Stamford. My parents will be empty-nesters starting tonight. Finally."

"Yeah, I can help."

Byron got out of bed, grabbed his clothes from yesterday and said, "I'm going to shower."

He was standing in the hot water of the shower, soaping himself and thinking of the conversation he and Jeff had last night. It had left him vaguely unsatisfied in some way. He wanted answers. He didn't want to hang out with Jeff for a week if it wasn't going anywhere. But on the other hand, even if it wasn't going to go anywhere, he'd seen Jeff and there was no way he was giving up this week. Byron was mentally planning all the things he and Jeff could spend a week doing, and one of his first priorities was to get out of Stoneybrook and back to New York.

He was broken out of his reverie by Jeff stepping into the shower with him.

"What are you doing?" he asked, surprised.

"Showering," Jeff answered blandly.

"Richard's here."

"Byron, we're twenty-eight. It may be Richard's house, but still. We're _twenty-eight._"

"It feels wrong."

"It's better for the environment."

Byron laughed. "Oh, well. For the Earth's sake, come on in."

The shower was chaste. What was it? Maybe it was that the sex in the hotel room happened so quickly, a little too quickly. Or perhaps it was last night's conversation about just having this week. But suddenly Jeff and Byron both seemed shy about touching each other. Like making out in the shower would somehow change this week from something casual to something neither could walk away from if they needed to.

Back at the Pike's house, Claire gave Jeff a hug, and Mr. Pike shook Jeff's hand and said he was glad to see him again. Mrs. Pike gave Jeff a small closed-off smile and said, "How do you do, Jeff?" without sticking around for the answer.

Between Claire, who had turned into quite a strong athlete, Jeff, Byron and Mr. Pike, it took about twenty minutes to load Claire's possessions into the U-Haul. Much faster than any of them had expected.

Then Claire drove her car, with Byron and Jeff, while Mr. Pike drove the U-Haul and Mrs. Pike followed in her car.

The move in to Claire's new apartment took much longer, as she was moving to the third floor in a building with no elevator. Mrs. Pike rant to the grocery store to stock up on essentials for Claire while the others moved everything in.

Jeff stuck his head in the refrigerator. "I can cook us lunch."

"Will it be vegan?" Byron asked warily.

Jeff laughed. "Not necessarily. But it will be vegetarian."

Byron sighed, "All right. I love cheese."

"So do I," Jeff admitted.

"But you're the vegan chef!" Byron exclaimed.

"Shhh....It's my dirty little secret. I eat eggs and cheese, and I cook with cream. But only at home."

"Tsk, tsk," Claire teased him. "What would your customers say if they knew?"

They ate, they talked. And the whole time, Mrs. Pike was quieter than she normally would be. She ate only a little of the spinach and cheese pasta Jeff had whipped up, but instead focused on unpacking Claire's cleaning supplies and scouring the kitchen.

At that point, Jeff walked into the kitchen and grabbed the pan from her, "I made the mess, I can clean it up."

"Can you?" she asked and took the pan back from him, turned her back and kept scrubbing. Jeff had the feeling she wasn't talking about the mess in the pan.

Later that night, back at the Pike's house, Jeff and Byron made plans to leave for New York the following morning.

When Jeff left, Byron went searching for his mom. He found her in her bedroom, talking quietly with his dad and crying into a tissue.

"Mom?" Byron asked. "What's the matter?"

She shook her head. "Nothing."

"Are you mad at me?"

"God, Byron. No. I'm not mad at you!"

"Why were you being so mean to Jeff?"

"You don't get it, do you?"

"I don't."

"Byron, I stood by and watched while that boy hurt you. It took you nearly a year to get over him breaking up with you, and I know how hard you tried to contact him and he refused to talk to you."

"How did you-" Byron started.

"Adam and Jordan told me. I knew what you were going through. I saw the depression and I couldn't do anything to help. And it was all Jeff's fault. He _did _that to you. I see him as the man who hurt my baby, and I just can't forgive him." She sounded like she wanted to go on, but choked up.

Byron was quiet for a minute. He needed to choose his words carefully. He mother had been his biggest ally. Through his relationship with Omer and with Thomas not Tom, she'd been supportive and less-jokey than the other Pikes. His mother, who had never gone back to full time work, became a chapter president of the southern Connecticut chapter of PFLAG. He didn't want to hurt her, but at the same time, he knew he had to act like an adult and make his own decisions.

He put his arm around his mother and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "It's OK, mom. We're just talking. We aren't necessarily getting back together."

"Just talking? You spent the night at his _house_ last night, Byron."

"I spent the night at his _step-dad's _house." He corrected her.

She sighed. "I can't stand to see you get hurt again."

"I-" Byron almost said 'I won't,' but knew that wasn't a promise he could make to his mother. "I'm not rushing in to anything. We really are just talking. We talked a lot yesterday about what happened after he moved to California."

"And are you comfortable with what he told you?"

_One hundred men in ten years,_ Byron thought. "We're working on it, OK?"

Mrs. Pike shook her head. "I don't trust him."

Byron stood up, now somewhat annoyed. "_You_ don't have to. _I_ do."

"I don't want you to make a mistake."

"Mom, I'm an adult. They're _my_ mistakes to make." He paused, realized what he'd said and added, "And maybe this isn't a mistake anyway."

"Dee," Mr. Pike began. "Byron's right. He's an adult. We just have to be supportive."

She sighed, "You sound like me."

"You were right, though. Weren't you? Back then?" He asked her gently.

She nodded. "Right about what? Back when?" Byron had to ask.

"When you were in high school," John began. "I was less than thrilled about your coming out."

"I had no idea," Byron said quietly.

John nodded. "I hid it. It's tough for parents. People forget that sometimes."

"But now..?" Byron trailed off.

"I wouldn't want you to be any other way," John admitted. He shrugged. "It's what makes life, what makes families, interesting. People finding different things that make them happy."

"Jeff made me happy once," Byron admitted.

"Your senior year in high school," John started. "That was the happiest I'd ever seen you. It's so rare to find that in adolescence."

"You weren't so happy until he broke up with you with no explanation." Dee pointed out.

"We're working on that, all right mom?"

Dee gave Byron a hug. "Just be careful sweetie."


	3. Jeff Cooks Up a Plan

**Trust**

"Your mom hates me," Jeff said to Byron as the train pulled out of Stoneybrook's station on the way to New York.

"She doesn't _hate_ you. She just doesn't trust you."

Jeff sighed. "If I could go back in time..."

"Well you can't. It's fine. Just...don't worry about her."

"I want her to like me." Jeff admitted.

"Since when do you care about things like that?"

"Since I'm trying to win you back and it'd be helpful if your mother wasn't warning you against me."

"She's not warning me. I told her I'm an adult and can make my own decisions. And is that what you're doing? Trying to win me back? Because I thought we had a mutual agreement that we're just going to spend this week together and then decide what to do."

"No, I changed my mind. I'm going to try to win you back. You seem a little resistant to it, though."

"You live in California, Jeff. I don't have the stomach for a long distance relationship. You remember that didn't work out so well last time."

"Weren't you going to move to Israel for Omer?"

"That was different."

"How?"

"Because we would have lived in the U.S. _and_ in Israel. And I'd been with him for over two years at that point. Three days, Jeff. That's how long we've known each other as adults. Three. Fucking. Days. I'm not moving across the country for you after three days. Not when my job is here, in New York."

"You hate your job."

"Actually, I don't."

"You act like you do."

"I know. It does get to me sometimes, the prep school system, the general consensus that music doesn't matter. But I do have a few good students and I feel like I'm actually teaching them something about music and it makes me feel good. Would I have gone for my Master's degree if the job didn't mean something to me?"

"Huh. OK, fine. But schools all over the place need teachers, even in California. You don't have to stay in New York."

"I'm not moving to California, Jeff. Please don't pressure me."

The train pulled into the station. Byron and Jeff grabbed their bags and got off. They hailed a cab and started the long journey to Byron's apartment. Byron pulled his cell phone out of his bag while in the cab and started texting.

"Who're you texting?"

"Nicky," Byron mumbled. "Want to see if he's gonna be home tonight."

"Is he ever?"

"Rarely, but he'd come to say hi to you."

Byron put his phone back in his pocket, though not two minutes later, it rang. Byron looked at the number, "Nicky." He smiled and answered it.

"Yep, he's here," Byron said in to the phone and looking at Jeff. "When do you get off?" "Can you come? Jeff's a chef, he might make us a dinner?" Byron looked at Jeff, eyebrows raised and Jeff nodded emphatically. "Yeah, vegetarian." "All right, cool. See you then."

Byron closed the phone. "He gets off at four. Which means he'll be home around seven."

"Three hours late?"

Byron shrugged. "You can't get him out of that hospital. He spends most of his waking hours, and plenty of sleeping ones there."

Jeff spent the afternoon cooking. He was appalled at the ingredients Byron and Nicky kept in the apartment, and shook his head sadly when Byron admitted that between their schedules, he ate takeout the vast majority of the time.

"It's a waste of money," Jeff lectured him. He looked around the cramped studio apartment. "You might be able to afford something a little bigger if you'd save that money you spend on takeout."

Byron shrugged. "I kind of like it."

Jeff walked over to the makeshift entertainment center, m ade from a piece of plywood sitting on top of nested milk crates which were stuffed with books. The small outdated 19 inch television sat on top of the plywood with a VCR and a cable box next to it. "This is college student furniture." Jeff pointed out. "You don't even have a DVD player!"

"Hey, Nicky's still in Residency. And I only just finished grad school last year. So we're still kind of college students. And it's not like we're here that often anyway."

Jeff shook his head sadly, "Byron. I have a one bedroom apartment. Where the bedroom is _separate _from the living room, which is _separate_ from the dining room. My living room is nearly as big as your entire apartment and I live there by myself."

"What are you trying to say?" Byron asked suspiciously.

Jeff sighed, "Nothing. I'm just letting you know that there's plenty of room at my apartment."

Byron rolled his eyes. "Come on, we'll go to the grocery store."

"Make it a Whole Foods," Jeff commanded.

Jeff had taken over the tiny kitchen. He was cooking like a madman, and Byron kept coming in, trying to help and generally getting in the way.

Finally Jeff snapped, "Out." He pointed to the living room. "This kitchen is small enough without you hanging over my shoulder."

"How much food are you making?" Byron asked looking at the mess of pots and pans cluttering the kitchen. There were pans that Byron didn't even remembering having, it'd been so long since he'd really cooked.

"Enough to feed you and Nicky for several days. Your eating habits make me sick."

Byron grabbed a slice of bell pepper and ran into the living room before Jeff could say anything. He was sitting on the couch, playing the guitar and watching TV at the same time. He tried to talk to Jeff, but Jeff was in some kind of manic cooking zone and was pretty non-responsive.

At about five o'clock, the door opened and Nicky walked in, still wearing scrubs.

"Jeff!" he called happily.

"Nicky!" Jeff said and put down the salad bowl and came over for a hug.

"I go by Nick now." Nicky said.

"Not to us he doesn't," Byron added walking over to them. "He'll always be Nicky to the family."

"Food smells good," Nicky leaned into the kitchen.

"Dinner'll be ready soon."

"I need to shower," Nicky answered.

Jeff waved him toward the bathroom. "Go. Shower."

Nicky went into the shower. Jeff looked at Byron, eyebrows raised. "He looks like a real doctor."

"He _is_ a real doctor. A surgeon."

Jeff shook his head, "Nicky Pike is a fucking doctor. A _surgeon. _ God, your parents must be all over that."

Byron shrugged, "Margo's in med school too. But they're proud of all of us."

"Margo's in med school? With her weak stomach?" Byron laughed and Jeff continued, "So wait, what's everyone doing then?"

Byron sighed, "Mallory works for the Governor, Adam's in the Peace Corps, Jordan's a cop, I'm a teacher, Nicky's a surgeon, Vanessa's a copy editor, Margo's in med school, and Claire just graduated college and is doing some kind of office job that I don't really understand. But it gives her enough time and money to go out and party every weekend."

"Not a bad banana in the bunch. How completely functional."

"Our family's always been weirdly functional. What are Dawn and Mary Anne doing, anyway?"

"Mary Anne was a second grade teacher at Stoneybrook Elementary. But she stopped when she had the babies. Dawn is semi-employed sometimes. She works for non-profits, never making very much money, but soothing her conscience because her boyfriend is some internet genius and is rich as shit."

"Really? God, Nicky used to worship Dawn when we were kids. He, like, connected with her or something."

Jeff shrugged, "I think Dawn's boyfriend is an asshole, but she likes him I guess."

"Hmm... Too bad."

"I know what you're thinking."

"What?"

"That Dawn and I turned out so fucked up."

"I don't think you're fucked up."

"Well, I'm not now. But I was until I found this cooking gig."

_One hundred men in ten years_ crawled through Byron's mind. "I didn't know you then. So I don't think you're fucked up."

"I cheated on you" Jeff began arguing. "I broke up with you in a terrible way, I failed out of school, I couldn't hold a job for more than a few months, I couldn't hold a boyfriend for more than six weeks, not that I tried very hard, I slept around, I drank way too much, I smoked a forest of pot...." Jeff trailed off.

"OK, fine. You win, you're fucked up. But you probably had more fun than I did," Byron pointed out. "My early twenties were spent studying the Talmud. Then I went through this whole Garland Broadway-loving gay boy phase. I didn't like either of them. So that's kind of fucked up." Jeff didn't say anything, so Byron continued, "Anyway. You found a job you love. You're good at it. You got sober. You're not fucked up anymore."

Jeff shrugged, "We're both fucked up, I guess just in different ways."

Nicky had just come out of the bathroom, towel around his waist, in time to hear Jeff's last comment. "No kidding. You're both fucked up. Byron had the two most fucked up relationships after you, Jeff."

"So I've heard." Jeff said drily. "But it's not like mine were any better."

"And anyway, Nicky," Byron pointed out. "What about you and Maggie?"

"Who's Maggie?" Jeff asked, interested.

"An ObGyn resident that he's been shacking up with for the last year." Byron pointed out. "It's not like a real relationship, is it? You're just sleeping with her."

"Au contraire," Nicky said and turning to the dresser and grabbed his clothes and started dressing. Jeff looked pointedly away when Nicky unwrapped the towel from his body. "We're in a real relationship. I call her my girlfriend. And she asked me to move in with her."

"What?" Byron asked, shocked. "Are you going to?"

"Well. That's what I was going to talk to you about. I'm gonna stay here until our lease is up in September. Then, yeah. I think I'll try out co-habitation with Maggie."

"Fuck." Byron said. "I need to cover rent myself then?"

"Unless you can find someone else willing to spend a ridiculous amount of money to sleep on a pull-out couch while you snore on the twin bed in the same room."

"No, I can cover it. Money'll just be tight. I can always give private guitar lessons." Byron thought about it. His only plan this summer was once-weekly private lessons with his student, Alex. He could try to pick up a few more private students.

"You could move in with me," Jeff said brightly.

"Please, Jeff. Three days, remember? When's dinner?"

"Right now. Where are your plates?"

Byron reached into a cabinet and pulled out a pack of paper plates.

"Paper plates?" Jeff asked incredulously. "Do you know how bad that is for the environment?"

Dinner went well. Nicky told outrageous hospital stories that had Byron and Jeff both laughing. Jeff talked about his work at the restaurant and the celebrity clientele he'd had. (Not much, it turned out.) The three spent the time catching up on the last ten years.

When Jeff went to shower that night, Nicky turned to Byron seriously. "What is this, anyway?"

Byron shrugged. "We're just...talking. He came for the reunion, we reconnected."

"Just talking, huh? So you haven't....?" Nicky trailed off. Byron's felt his face flush and Nicky rolled his eyes. "God, what'd that take you, like ten minutes?"

"About twenty, actually." Byron admitted.

"You think that was a good idea?" Nicky asked seriously.

Byron shrugged. "No, it probably wasn't. We kind of did it and _then_ started talking. He's here for a week. We're just kind of hanging out, seeing where the week leads us."

"He really hurt you," Nicky reminded him gently.

"I know. That's why I'm trying not to have any expectations here. We are both here, now this week. I want to see how this goes, then how it goes with him back in California."

"What happened, anyway? When he left for college."

Byron sighed. He knew if there was one person he could tell this whole story to, it'd be Nicky. "He cheated on me. He got drunk and slept with some guy. And then he felt _bad_ and instead of telling me, he just broke up with me to, I don't know, spare me from having to be with him. Or something."

Nicky made a face. "Seriously? He broke up with you but didn't tell you why?"

"Mmm-hmm."

"God. He must have felt bad."

"_He_ must have?"

"Well, yeah. To not tell you and try to beg your forgiveness? Would you have forgiven him, by the way?"

Byron shrugged. "It's hard to say now. But yeah, probably."

"He probably knew you would, but he couldn't forgive himself."

"He punished himself." Byron said. Nicky raised his eyebrows in question and Byron continued, "Drinking, sleeping around. You know general self-flagellation."

"And now?"

Byron shrugged again, "Three years sober, he says."

"And the sleeping around?"

"Um. I don't know." Byron hesitated, unsure how much more he should say. "Nicky," Byron lowered his voice, "Jeff told me he's slept with about a hundred guys."

Nicky let out a low whistle. "That's a pretty scary number, Byron. You better really be sure about him before you agree to get back in a serious relationship again."

"I'm terrified," Byron admitted. Something he'd admit to Nicky and no one else.

"What of?" Nicky asked.

"Jeff. Me. Us." Byron buried his head in his hands. "I feel myself falling back in love with him. But you know it's only been three days since we re-met. I'm trying to keep my head on straight here, but he's making it so hard."

"You're happy," Nicky said quietly.

"What?"

"You. You're happier than I remember seeing you since we were eighteen. I think Jeff makes you happy. But the people who make us happiest have the potential to hurt us the most. So just....be careful."

Byron nodded, and at that moment, the bathroom door opened and Jeff stepped out, dressed in red boxer shorts and a white undershirt. Byron looked at him, noticed how Jeff's wet hair was still dripping, making little rivers down his neck and soaking the top of his undershirt.

Jeff looked at Byron studying him and gave a small smile, which Byron returned hesitantly.


	4. Introspection

**Contrition**

Byron woke up the next morning and turned over. Nicky was still sound asleep on his half of the pull out sofa-bed. The previous night had been awkward, with Byron giving up his bed to Jeff and refusing to sleep in it with him.

"Forget it," Byron said flatly. "I'm not sharing a twin bed."

"You guys can have the pull-out," Nicky said. "I'll take the bed."

Jeff was ready to agree, when Byron stopped him. "No. Jeff and I are supposed to be just talking this week," Byron gave Jeff a pointed look. "So maybe we shouldn't be in the same bed."

"By, it's a little late for-" Jeff stopped, seeing the Look on Byron's face. "Yeah, OK."

It wasn't easy, having Jeff there. Really what Byron wanted to do was get naked and stay naked for hours at a time with Jeff. But he knew they'd rushed into sleeping together before the reunion and if Jeff was sincere about wanting to "win him back," then he'd have to put up with how slow Byron wanted to move.

Jeff, meanwhile, knew exactly what Byron was doing. That he was trying to reign himself in so he didn't make any mistakes. It was fine with Jeff; he'd go along with whatever it was that Byron wanted to do. And if Byron needed to slow it down a little and wrap his mind around the fact that Jeff was damn serious, well, then Jeff would be all too willing to slow down.

Byron rubbed his eyes and peeked over at Jeff, who was lying awake, staring at the ceiling, and rubbing his throat. "Morning," Byron whispered.

Jeff looked over at Byron and smiled wanly. His face was surprisingly red. "I'm sick," he croaked.

Byron pulled back the covers and got out of bed as quietly as possible to avoid waking Nicky. He walked over to Jeff and sat down next to him. "What's wrong?"

Jeff shrugged. "I was coughing all night. I can't believe I didn't wake you. My body aches, my throat hurts and my head hurts right here," he pressed right above his eyebrows.

Byron put his hand to Jeff's forehead. "You're feverish."

Jeff sighed. "This happens almost every time I fly. I get sick a few days after landing." He made a pitiful face to Byron. "Do you have any tea?"

"Lipton," Byron said.

Jeff wrinkled his face, but asked, "Do you mind making me some?"

Byron wasn't sure a hot drink was the best bet for a fever. But Jeff really looked pathetic lying there, especially when he started coughing and seemed unable to stop himself, so Byron agreed. Byron went to the kitchen to put the tea kettle on and came back into the main room just in time to see Nicky stirring.

Nicky opened one eye and peeked at Byron, smiling. "Morning," he mumbled.

"Jeff's sick," Byron said.

Byron was suddenly impressed as Nicky, who'd been awake for all of twenty seconds, turned into doctor mode and jumped up looking wide awake and walked over to Jeff. Nicky looked down at Jeff, as though he was studying him and said "What's wrong?"

Jeff reiterated his symptoms. Nicky grabbed his hospital bag and pulled out a stethoscope. He helped Jeff sit up and listened to his lungs. "It doesn't sound like bronchitis or pneumonia." He pressed on Jeff's forehead, which made Jeff wince, and he began feeling around Jeff's neck. Nicky pulled out a small flashlight. "Open up," he said. Jeff opened wide and Nicky peeked in his mouth.

"I think you have a sinus infection. It's most likely viral. Stay in. Rest, fluids, Tylenol for your aches and fever if you think you need it. You can get something over the counter for your symptoms. If you start coughing up anything dark, let me know and I'll write you a prescription for an antibiotic."

"You can write prescriptions?" Jeff asked.

Nicky gave him a look. "I'm a doctor. So...yeah."

"Sorry," Jeff said. "I just...I don't know. I don't think of you as a doctor. I just think of you as Nicky Pike."

"Well, I am that too." Nicky smiled. "Don't be offended. I'm leaving. I don't want to take whatever you have into the hospital."

Byron was standing, watching all of this go down quietly. He'd had plans for the next few days. He was going to take Jeff through the city and do fun touristy things that he'd never managed to do. Now he was going to be stuck inside with him, caring for him, and having to (God forbid) talk about important things.

The tea kettle whistled and Byron went into the kitchen. As he was pouring the hot water over a teabag in a mug, Nicky came in and washed his hands. Nicky lowered his voice. "Maybe you could use this opportunity to, I don't know...._talk_ to Jeff."

Byron sighed but didn't say anything.

Nicky left for Maggie's house, where he was going to spend the morning until their shifts started at the hospital, while Byron was showering. So when Byron came out of the bathroom, towel wrapped around his waist, Jeff was sitting up on the couch, which had been folded back, and watching television.

"How're you feeling?" Byron asked.

Jeff shrugged. He was clutching his mug of tea. "Not great. A little better now that I'm sitting up instead of lying down."

Byron opened his dresser drawer and grabbed some clothes. While he was changing, he noticed Jeff watching him. "What?" he asked.

Jeff smiled. "You've barely changed since we were eighteen."

Byron pinched a little fat around his waist. "I didn't have this when we were eighteen."

Jeff laughed. "It's your terrible diet." His body was taken over by a fit of coughing that wouldn't seem to let up. Finally, he sipped his tea which made the coughing subside a little.

Byron sat on the couch next to Jeff. "Can I get you anything?"

Jeff shook his head. "I don't like to take medicine unless I absolutely have to. It's bad for the environment."

"What isn't though?" Byron said dryly.

"Just sit with me." Jeff said.

They sat there, staring at the television screen, watching The Price is Right and not talking. Byron wished it was a companionable silence, but it wasn't. It was a silence of two people who knew that they should probably talk, but neither of whom actually _wanted_ to. And so contestant after contestant came on down, some won, some lost and they spun the big wheel. Finally, after a college student won a living room suit and jet ski and the host implored the audience to spay and neuter their pets, Byron turned to Jeff. "So." He said.

"So," Jeff said back.

There was a moment's silence and they both started laughing before quieting down again. Jeff bit his lip.

"There's something I want to ask you," Byron said quickly. The words were rushed, as though he was speaking before he lost his nerve. Which, of course, was exactly the case.

"What?" Jeff asked.

Byron hesitated. "Something you said on Saturday. That you'd had about a hundred boyfriends in ten years. Is that number...." Byron trailed off. "Accurate?" he finished.

Jeff shrugged. "It's probably a slight exaggeration."

"How slight?"

"I haven't kept count, Byron." Jeff began to sound a little defensive.

"I know _my_ number." Byron pointed out. "Four. In the last ten years, and that includes you."

Jeff looked at Byron, shaking his head slightly. "Do you want a medal? You've been better than me, OK? Is that what you want to hear?"

Byron dug the heels of his hands into his eyes. "God, no. That's not what I meant. I just...Jeff. God, I can't even fathom anything close to a hundred guys, OK? I'm just sitting here wondering what it says about you, that you've been with a hundred guys."

Jeff clenched his teeth. "I said a hundred was probably an exaggeration."

"By how much?"

Jeff sighed and stared glassy-eyed into the distance. Finally he took a deep breath. "Somewhere between five and ten guys a year," he admitted.

Byron did some quick math, "That makes your total between fifty and a hundred."

"It sounds worse when you put it like that. And I've slowed way down the last two years. In the last two years, I've only been with four guys."

"How do you get up that high?" Byron wondered.

"It's always been easy for me to find a guy. It's never been easy to hold on to him."

"Wow. You're really selling me on this getting back together thing."

"I'm just trying to be honest."

"All right. So what were you _thinking?_ Sleeping with all those guys?"

"I _wasn't_ thinking. I was just.....fucking. That's all most of them were to me. A quick lay. But I don't want that anymore. I probably never did. I told you....me? Fucked up."

"So why don't I just run right off to California with you?"

"Byron," Jeff's voice was pleading now. "Could we please not make this about my past indiscretions? I'm trying, OK? I'm trying to change. I just spent the last ten years of my life fucking hating myself. I don't know why. Because I cheated on you? Because my daddy doesn't approve of me being gay? Who knows why? All I know, is I got sober three years ago, and two years ago I decided to stop being such a fucking slut. OK? I'm sorry, I don't have your support system of a hundred siblings, and two parents who are both alive and see eye to eye on being so supportive of their gay son. I don't have all that. And if you're going to sit here and judge me, and not even try to understand me, then maybe this whole week is a bad idea." Jeff's voice was strained by the end as he wound up in another coughing fit.

"I'm sorry," Byron said quietly. He got up and grabbed a glass of water and brought it in to Jeff, who drank it with relief. "I didn't mean to call you a slut or whatever. I'm just....trying to get a feel for who you are now. Jeff, God. We haven't known each other in ten years. The hundred guys thing just threw me for a loop because it's just not what eighteen year old Jeff would be doing."

"We just aren't eighteen anymore By."

"I know. But if this thing is going to work, if we do manage to get back together? We need to be honest. And I honestly am having trouble coming to grips with fifty to a hundred guys. And I'm not saying that like I'm judging you. I'm just saying it because it's true."

"Fair enough," Jeff said, sipping his water. He took a long pause. "For what it's worth, Byron. I am an alcoholic. And when I would drink, which was _all the time_, I'd have sex. And it's really only been the last couple years that I even had sex sober. Seriously, since you, I went nearly eight years before having one single sober sexual experience. Do I regret it? Yes. And no. I mean yes because I wish I wasn't an alcoholic and I wish I wasn't so fucked up. No because I generally hate having regrets because until someone perfects a time machine, I'm not going to be able to go back and change anything I regret. So. I've learned to live with myself. And I stopped drinking and I tried a few normal relationships before I realized that I just wanted to come back here and give you another chance."

"If you think you're fucked up, I can't fix you."

"I'm not asking you to."

"So what do you want from me?"

"I just want to be with you. I can work on getting myself unfucked up all on my own. I am working on it. But I'd like you there with me."

Byron gave Jeff a small smile. "Let's just take this week, OK?"

Jeff nodded. "Tell me about your two fucked up relationships. It'll make me feel better."

Byron laughed. "All right. I met Omer in college. And what do you want to know?"

"How'd you meet him?"

"In class. I was in my fourth year and I had one general ed requirement left. History. So I took World History 101. Omer and I were the only non-freshman in the class. He knew Adam, because he was an engineering major, and like me he put off his History requirement until his senior year. And he mistook me for Adam on that first day of class, and I corrected him. And that's how we met. God, he was gorgeous. Dark and tall. He was really religious, and I kind of liked that. But he wasn't too religious. I mean, we slept together after about a week. He graduated and got this job through the Israeli government which required him to spend a half a year here and a half year there. I was still in school, so we did it long distance his first stint in Israel. But when he came back, he was much more religious and he suddenly had a problem with the fact that I'm not Jewish. So I decided to convert. Because really, if I was going to live in Israel for half a year, I might as well be Jewish, right? But it's not that easy to convert, it takes a long time. And when I found out I would have to get circumcised...well something just hit me. I don't agree with that. And I'm not going to follow it blindly and I want to eat a bacon sandwich if I want one. I put off breaking up with Omer though. Because I did love him. But he knew. You know? He got it that I wasn't really in to converting. So he chose his religion over me."

"How about Thomas?"

"Thomas Not Tom, we call him. Um, I was living here, in this apartment and I'd just found my job at the school. And I decided to try out for this men's choir. It wasn't all gay men, but about half the choir just happens to be gay. And that's where I met Thomas Not Tom. He was...." Byron paused and blushed, "the fruitiest gay man there. Lisping and prancing, you know? He wore ridiculous scarves. Not even all that handsome. Kind of short, balding even though he was only twenty nine, nose that looked like it'd been broken several times. But, my God, was he nice. Just so nice right away. I'm so shy and awkward around new people and he just walked up and talked to me and made me feel right at home. I didn't make the choir, because I'm a tenor and they didn't really need any more tenors. But Thomas Not Tom kept calling me, and I'm not kidding, when I got around him I started to emulate him. His gay mannerisms, you know? And I hated myself and I kept thinking 'Oh god, my family is going to have a fucking field day with him.' But it didn't stop me. We went to shows and I learned all about Broadway, which is fucking boring by the way. Not my type of music at all. But with Thomas Not Tom there, it was kind of fun. Because he made everything fun and he knew so many people. And I felt kind of special, being the one he chose as his mate, you know? And I know my family made fun of him, but not to my face, because that would be cruel. Thomas Not Tom met them and was so nice to them and always interested in what anyone had to say. But you know what? I'm not that type of gay man. I don't want to go to shows and listen to Streisand. I want to stay home and watch Doctor Who marathons and whatever is on the Sci-Fi channel. My favorite movie is Lord of the Rings, which Thomas Not Tom just thought was ridiculous. So I started pulling away from him a little bit. Not going out with him as much, but really. He wanted a guy who was spontaneous and always willing to go out for fruity drinks or to try to sneak into a show. We just weren't right for each other. So he broke up with me, which honestly was kind of a relief."

Jeff was looking at Byron with interest. "You're so introspective about your relationships."

Byron shrugged. "Is that a good thing?"

"I don't know." Both Byron and Jeff turned and watched a little more TV, local news this time, before Jeff said, "Wait."

"What?"

"You said your number is four. That's only three. Me, Omer and Thomas Not Tom."

"Oh. Yeah."

After a pause, Jeff exclaimed, "Well?!?"

Byron hesitated. "Do you remember when we were broken up in Senior year? And I told you I went to the scenic outlook and made out with some guy?"

"Rex the bearded thirty year old?"

Byron laughed uncomfortably. "I can't believe you remember that. He was thirty-two at the time, actually."

Jeff wrinkled his nose.

"Well, summer after Freshman year, I came back to Stoneybrook. And I was working at the movie theater, and Rex came in by himself. He loves to go to movies alone, which is something I've always liked doing too. He recognized me right away, and he was like 'Are you you or are you your brother?' It was weird, but I knew what he meant right away. So I said, 'No, it's me.' And we talked for a minute. Then my shift was ending right as his movie got out, so we spent most of the night talking. And that's how it started. He's never been, like, my boyfriend. But whenever I'm in town and neither one of us is otherwise attached, we always get together."

"So, he's like a casual lay?"

Byron nodded.

"Tell me more."

"Like what? He doesn't have a beard anymore."

Jeff laughed. "No. When's the last time you hooked up?"

Byron blushed. "The night before the reunion."

Jeff leaned forward. "Really? Last Friday?"

"Mmm-hmm."

"So why haven't you two ever become more?"

Byron shrugged. "I was a college kid and he was an adult, and I think the age difference kind of squicked us both out at that time. Then I got out of college and was still with Omer. Then Omer and I broke up and he was with a guy and they broke up just before I met Thomas Not Tom. The timing just didn't work out. But we were friends, we talked a lot. Then after Thomas Not Tom neither one of us really wanted to be anything but single for a while, but we still wanted the sex. So we had a lot of sex, but no commitment." Byron shrugged again, "I know it's weird, but it worked for us."

"So you and Rex, huh?" Jeff asked.

Byron laughed. "His name isn't really Rex either. It's Stephen. But I call him Rex, it's like my nickname for him. A little inside joke."

Jeff was silently staring at Byron. Giving him an appraising look. Byron shifted, "What?"

Jeff shrugged. "I'm jealous."

"Of Rex? Why?"

Jeff shook his head. "No, not that. I'm jealous that you have these relationships that were real. That meant something. Even Rex, your casual lay, you have some kind of relationship with. You're friends with him. I never did that. I never had a real boyfriend who I did things with. I never even had another gay man friend. All my friends are straight guys and girls. Because pretty much when I met a gay guy, I'd fuck him and be done with him."

"Is that what you wanted?"

"Not even a little bit."

Byron bit his lip, knowing his question of _well, why'd you do it then?_ was probably rude. I mean, obviously Jeff had issues. So instead he said, "Tell me about some of them."

"There's nothing to tell," Jeff said.

"There must be something," Byron said.

Jeff sighed and thought hard. "Not really. I mean, I'd go to a bar, get drunk, meet a guy, go back to one of our places and we'd fuck. Sometimes he'd stick around for a few days or a few weeks. Then we'd both just go on our way. Same thing over and over and over again. Lather, rinse, repeat."

Byron bit his lip. "But not anymore, right?"

Jeff shook his head. "Not anymore."

Byron was silent for a moment, thinking, pondering. Jeff was definitely contrite about his past. He definitely recognized what didn't make him happy and was trying to change his self-destructive behaviors. And hell, it seemed like he finally had changed for the most part. Byron kind of admired Jeff's attitude, a cross between being matter of fact about his past and being contrite about it, without really being ashamed of himself. Byron studied Jeff's face, a little puffy from being ill, but he saw the very faint beginnings of frown lines around Jeff's mouth. And it broke Byron's heart a little. As angry as he'd been with Jeff his Freshman year in college, he'd never really wanted Jeff's life to turn into a drama that'd give him frown lines at the age of twenty-eight.

It was that moment, that Byron knew, more than any other instinct he'd ever had, he _knew_ that in due time, he'd be moving to California. That he was getting back together with Jeff.

That thought scared the hell out of him. Because he may have known it, but he wasn't at all sure it was the right thing.


	5. Sex & Dessert

**Sex and Dessert**

It was a thought that Byron kept to himself. He played coy the next couple of days. He took care of Jeff, even going to the local deli and buying vegetarian noodle soup. He and Jeff stopped talking about the past, stopped talking about their relationships and completely stopped talking about the potential for the future. Byron still slept in a different bed and was careful not to kiss Jeff at all.

Jeff, for his part, was happy that heavy conversations were over. He was enjoying being with Byron again. He'd forgotten how when you're with someone that you actually have a connection with, that everything becomes easier. Conversations are easier. Silences are easier. He stopped hounding Byron about the future, and just spent his time hoping that Byron could feel what he felt happening.

Thursday morning, Byron woke up from the pull out couch and rolled over. Jeff wasn't in the bed. He rolled in the other direction and saw Jeff standing at the window, stock-still, staring outside. "Morning." Byron mumbled.

Jeff looked up and smiled. "I feel better."

Byron sat up, "Really?"

Jeff nodded. "It never lasts long."

"That gives us a day, right?" The following day, Jeff was leaving on the train back to Stoneybrook to spend one more night at Richard's before flying out to California on Saturday.

Byron's phone vibrated, he picked it up. There was a text from Nicky asking how Jeff was feeling. Byron quickly tapped back, 'all better.'

"What should we do today?" Byron asked.

Jeff shrugged, "You're the New Yorker. Let's just go walk around. I've only even been to New York once, when I was fourteen, and all I remember is mom losing the address of our hotel."

"Fair enough," Byron got up and showered while Jeff made waffles.

It was an easy day. The guys really walked around the city, and by the time they got home they were exhausted. They took out the spread from the nearest vegetarian take-out joint.

"I get why you get takeout so often," Jeff said. "It's everywhere in this city!"

Byron nodded. "That, and it's easier. I work, Nicky works. Neither of us loves to cook. So we do takeout." Byron looked at the container of food, "Though I've never gotten food from here," he admitted.

Jeff laughed as they continued eating. Like the whole day, really like the whole several days prior, the conversation was easy. Byron felt happier than he remembered feeling in years. The feeling of knowing this was going further kept coming back to him. But each time it popped into his head, he minded it a little less.

So after dinner, Byron popped a movie into the VCR (Jeff grumbling about Byron's need for a DVD player), pulled the couch out into a bed and leaned back. He patted the mattress beside him. "Come."

Jeff sat next to Byron tentatively. The movie started and Byron lay halfway down and snuggled in to Jeff's side. Jeff smiled and put his arm around Byron's shoulder.

About halfway through the movie, Byron slowly began getting closer to Jeff. Hip jutted in to hip. Byron casually lay his hand on Jeff's abdomen, just under his shirt and began stroking, making figure-eights on Jeff's skin. Jeff took a deep breath in and turned to Byron, breathing hard as he pressed his own lips to Byron's eagerly awaiting ones.

The kiss was a question, and Byron responded with a resounding yes. He pressed his hips into Jeff's, his own erection gently nudging Jeff's through their jeans.

Jeff lay back, his elbow hitting the remote control and the movie stopped suddenly and ejected from the VCR. Both of them laughed, as they were plunged into dimness, the only light coming from the window as the day drew to a close and from the television set which was on, but showing a blank screen.

When Byron had imagined this happening the last few days, he'd been hoping for some big romantic slow easy sex. But what happened was more frantic, and both were powerless to slow it down. Ten years of missing each other. Ten years of being with the wrong people. One week of frustrating conversation about what the future holds. All of these things were working against a languid night and pushing them to something fast paced. It was a sprint, not a marathon.

Byron unbuckled Jeff's belt with as much force as he could muster, and within seconds was working Jeff's jeans down to his ankles. Jeff gasped, a deep throaty lustful gasp that make Byron's dick twitch, as Byron grabbed Jeff's cock and began stroking it with alarming speed.

"Stop," Jeff panted. Byron stopped and looked at Jeff curiously, "Get naked," Jeff demanded. "I want to see you naked." Byron grinned and make quick order of removing his clothes and tossing them on the floor next to Jeff's. Byron stood up, ran to the bathroom for a condom and some lube. He came back to see Jeff slowly stroking himself, waiting for Byron's return.

Byron lay down, right on top of Jeff, and savored, if only for a moment, the feeling of Jeff growing hotter and harder beneath him. Jeff slowly spread his legs and Byron smiled, reaching for the condom and lube. He rolled the condom on and squirted some lube into his palms, rubbing them together to warm it up, before stroking the lube onto his own stiff cock.

He nestled between Jeff's legs, leaned down and kissed Jeff hard on the lips. As he pushed in to Jeff, and felt Jeff's muscles clench around him, Byron concentrated on Jeff's face so he wouldn't go too fast and come too soon.

But it was Jeff, anxious already, who sped things up. He raised his hips and pulled Byron into him deeper and deeper still, until Byron was moaning. They started their rhythm, slow at first but only for a moment before speeding up, getting closer and closer to climax. Jeff came first, come shooting on to his exposed stomach, and Byron came just a second later, pushing in to Jeff with a final grunt and a moan.

At that moment, the door opened and the light turned on.

"Oh God," Nicky said, horrified.

Byron rolled off Jeff as fast as he could and pulled the covers up over both of them. Byron and Jeff, their eyes not accustomed to the light blinked rapidly, as it took them a moment to realize that Nicky was standing in the doorway. With Maggie.

"Shit," Byron said, burying his head in his arms. "Shit. I'm sorry."

"No," Nicky said awkwardly. "We're sorry."

"Sorry," Maggie reiterated. "We'll come back later." Her face was bright red.

"No. It's OK. Will you guys..." Byron trailed off, but made a hand gesture clearly indicating that Maggie and Nicky should turn around, which in a way was a joke. Because what were they going to see that they hadn't just seen?

"Oh. Yeah." Nicky held onto Maggie's elbow and they walked to the kitchen, taking care to keep their eyes averted.

Byron and Jeff sat up quickly. Jeff ran to the bathroom and grabbed some Kleenex to wipe up his abdomen. Byron carefully removed the condom and threw it in the bathroom trash. They got dressed quickly and quietly, exchanging looks. Byron's pained look was answered by Jeff's amused look.

"We're decent now," Jeff said, as he and Byron began stripping the sheets off the mattress. Byron threw the sheets in the hamper as Jeff and Nicky began folding the bed back into its sofa form.

"Thanks," Nicky said sarcastically. "I appreciate you doing that on my bed."

"Sorry 'bout that," Jeff answered jovially. Nicky and Jeff seemed to almost think this was funny. Byron and Maggie hadn't stopped blushing yet. "We were just watching a movie and...." he trailed off waving his had toward the television as if that explained what they were doing.

Nicky went to the VCR and pulled out the movie. "_The Goonies?_ Is that what does it for you guys? _The Goonies?_"

Byron was horrified. Maggie gave a weak laugh. But Nicky and Jeff were roaring.

Byron rolled his eyes. "Maggie. I'm sorry you had to see..._that._"

Maggie shrugged her shoulders and smiled kindly at Byron. "It's OK. We should have called."

Byron shook his head. "No, Nicky lives here too. That's ridiculous."

Jeff and Nicky finally stopped laughing long enough for Nicky to say, "No biggie, right? I mean, yeah I'm sorry I saw...._that_. But I shouldn't be surprised." Nicky looked at Byron and shook his head. Byron didn't know what Nicky was trying to say.

After a moment's awkward silence. Jeff clapped his hands together. "Let's go get something to eat. I'm famished!"

"Yeah," Nicky said sarcastically, "I'll bet you're-"

"Nicky, don't." Byron said pleadingly.

Nicky nodded. "Food. Let's go."

The night was fun. The four went out to a diner for dessert. Byron didn't know how he'd managed to forget that Jeff's one unhealthy weakness was chocolate. But Jeff managed to scarf down a huge slice of Death-by-Chocolate cake. Not what you'd expect from the vegan chef. Once Maggie got over her embarrassment of walking in on Byron and Jeff in the throes of passion, she opened up. Maggie was a short, wiry woman with an infectious laugh. She was highly opinionated, but never forceful. She was a marathoner, which is how she and Nicky'd met. And she obviously adored Nicky. The feeling was mutual. Byron couldn't remember ever seeing Nicky so happy as he was sitting next to Maggie. He smiled at them.

"What?" Nicky asked, self-conscious.

Byron shrugged. "You two. You're so cute together." He said it jokingly, but he really meant it.

Maggie blushed. "Thanks, Byron."

"What about you two?" Nicky asked Byron and Jeff.

Byron and Jeff glanced at each other and shrugged. "We're...." Byron trailed off.

"What _are_ we doing By?" Jeff asked.

Nicky sighed. "Obviously you two need to do some talking. Let's go. I'll grab some stuff and stay at Mag's tonight. You guys finish what you need to."

And so they left. Nicky packed a small bag and left after giving Jeff a big hug. Byron saw Nicky whisper something in to Jeff's ear, Jeff smiled and whispered something back.

"What was that about?" Byron asked when they'd left.

"What was what about?" Jeff asked innocently.

"What'd Nicky say to you?"

Jeff smiled and shrugged. "So.....I'm going back to Stoneybrook tomorrow. What're we...?"

Byron sighed and sat on the sofa and patted the seat next to him. "Sit." Jeff sat. Byron turned to him. "If we're going to do this, it's going to be long distance. Do you understand that?"

Jeff nodded seriously. "I know."

"I'm not ready to move with you, and I don't think you're in to the idea of moving to New York. And I can't leave my job in the middle of the school year."

"I'm not asking you to drop everything and move."

"I know. So, that's why I'm saying this. I'm committed to staying in New York and finishing out next school year. That is eleven months from now."

Jeff nodded. "I understand."

Byron took a deep breath and exhaled. "God, Jeff. I've missed you so much. Really. I don't even think I realized how much I missed you until these last couple days."

Jeff leaned in and kissed Byron. "I missed you too," he whispered pulling Byron into a deep throbbing kiss, which Byron responded to enthusiastically.

When they broke apart, both were panting and Byron put his hand up to Jeff's lips. "Listen, seriously." Jeff began fumbling with Byron's belt buckle, and Byron slapped his hand away. "Seriously, let's finish talking first."

"Are we getting back together?" Jeff asked, still trying to get into Byron's pants. He leaned in an kissed along Byron's neck. "Please God, say yes."

"Yes," Byron whispered. "Yes. But Jeff. God stop that. Just for a second."

Jeff removed his hands and sat back from Byron, looking properly chastened.

Byron hesitated. "I...." he broke off. He wasn't sure how to approach this topic.

"You what?" Jeff asked. After a moment's pause, he added, "I won't get upset, By."

Byron took a deep breath. "I won't be cheated on again. Honestly Jeff, your history scares the shit out of me and one half of me is yelling at the other half of me for trusting you. I need you to be honest with me about what you do when you're out there. And me deciding to get back with you and possibly move out there with you in eleven months depends entirely on a few things. First, is obviously that you stop fucking around."

"Byron, yeah. Obviously."

"The second is your sobriety."

Jeff nodded seriously. "All right. I have a sponsor and all that. He can vouch for me."

Byron hesitated. "The third thing is that I need you to get tested."

Jeff nodded again. "Fair enough. Byron, I'll do whatever."

"I don't need you to do whatever. I just need those three things."

"Yes, yes, yes." Jeff leaned in to Byron. "I understand where you're coming from. I will do whatever it takes. Byron, I _need_ you."

"Then I'm yours." Byron said as he brought his lips to Jeff's


	6. Emails and Texts

**Emails. Texts.**

**Date: July 1****st**

**From: Jeff **

**To: Byron**

Subject: Made it

Byron -

I left a message on your voicemail, and am now emailing you to let you know I made it back to California safe and sound. As you know from my many texts, my layover in Denver was delayed. I ended up falling asleep over night on the airport floor and nearly slept through my flight back to L.A.

Because of the delay, I got back and had to immediately get back to work. No rest for the weary. Still, it was a relief to be there. My sous chef did a good job holding down the fort, but when I got there I found we were dangerously low on tofu - bad news in a vegan restaurant. Luckily our supplier was able to expedite a shipment.

It's nice to be back, but I miss you. I think about you all the time. I'm taking everything you said very seriously. No fucking around. I never had any reason _not_ to fuck around before but now I do and I can't even imagine being tempted to hurt you. No drinking. I can have my sponsor call you to talk if you want. If it's not too dorkish, you can check out books by Al-Anon about living with an alcoholic. And as far as the testing? I'm going to make a doctor's appointment for Thursday, my only day off this week.

I love you and miss you,

Jeff.

**Date: July 1****st**

**To: Jeff**

**From: Byron**

Subject: Re: Made it

Jeff,

I got your voicemail message. Believe it or not I was in the checkout of Whole Foods when you left it. That's right - I'm trying to eat healthier and cook more. We'll see how it goes before I give it up. I should make it through the summer at least before the stress of work sends me right back to McDonalds. I am trying though. I put these rules down of things you had to do for me, and I figured I can try to do something for you.

I wish you wouldn't say you didn't have a reason not to fuck around before. Your own happiness is a good enough reason. It kills me that you spent ten years of your life thinking you weren't worth anything more than one-night or one-week stands.

I picked up a private piano student for the summer. So I'm off to a ridiculous penthouse apartment on the upper west side to try and teach a five year old to play the piano. I think his nanny just wants an hour to herself.

I will call you later.

Love,

Byron.

**July 5****th**

**TXT MSG **

**From Jeff Schafer**

Tested today. Off to work. Sous chef called in sick. Sigh. Will call tomorrow.

Love, Jeff

**July 7****th**

**To: Jeff**

**From: Byron**

Jeff

My favorite thing ever is talking to you at night right before bed. Damn this time difference and your ridiculous working hours for not letting us do it more often. Still, it was nice last night and since you're working till God knows when tonight, I just thought I'd send you an email to say good night.

I made myself that eggplant parm dish you sent me the recipe for. You're right, it was super easy. I'll look in to getting a slow cooker for the school year. I've done really well this week with eating healthier. I did have doughnuts for breakfast one morning, but other than that I've made dinner every night. Nicky enjoys the fruits of my labor and says he might not move in with Maggie after all.

I miss you. I'm going to come visit in August.

Love,

Byron.

**July 8****th**

**To: Byron**

**From: Jeff**

Byron

It's two in the morning here. I just got home from work. It was an insane night. We had a "big-time" celebrity come in with her entourage. At the very least, the servers said Corrie Lalique tips well.

YES! Come visit as soon as you can. I'm proud of you, changing your eating habits.

Love,

Jeff

**July 9****th**

**TXT MSG**

**From Byron Pike**

Corrie Lalique? How very D-list. On the subway to give another private lesson. Time to talk later today?

**July 9****th**

**TXT MSG**

**From Jeff Schafer**

I go to work at two. Call me before then if you can.

**July 9****th**

**TXT MSG**

**From Byron Pike**

I'll call around noon your time.

**July 15****th**

**From: Jeff**

**To: Byron**

Subject: Test results

I see we haven't felt the need to email so much recently. I need to get a better cell phone plan with more minutes if we're going to be doing so much talking and texting.

I just wanted to let you know I got home from work (early-ish. 10:00 my time, but I think one in the morning is too late to call you) and my test results were in the mail. Negative. I'm good to go. The doc says I need to get retested in six months and he already even scheduled me in November.

I love you and miss you. Sorry we didn't get a chance to talk today. I have tomorrow off. Let's spend all day on the phone.

Love,

Jeff

**July 17****th**

**To: Jeff**

**From: Byron**

Subject: Miss you!

Yesterday was awesome. I can't believe we talked until my phone died. Please get a plan with unlimited minutes. We have ten and a half months of non-stop talking to do.

Today was a rough day for me. I had to give a guitar lesson to my student, Alex. He told me that he came out to his parents and they were less than thrilled for him. I ended up teaching him nothing about guitar and tried to counsel him. But what could I say? I couldn't really relate, so I told him about Jordan. I think he was more impressed with the fact that I'm a triplet than with the fact that everything worked out with Jordan. (Why is that so _fascinating_ to people?) I think things'll work out for the kid. His parents didn't kick him out or anything. And honestly they never spend any kind of time with him, so I can't even believe it matters. Alex told me his dad is upset that the family name is going to die off because Alex is the last one left with that name. It kind of reminds me of your mom's initial reaction about grandkids.

How does the first week in August sound? I need to be back to work the third week and I need to devote the second week to lesson plans. As soon as you give me the OK, I'll buy the tickets.

Love you and miss you.

By.

**July 17****th**

**To: Byron**

**From: Jeff**

Subject: Re: Miss you!

YES! The first week in August sounds great. I can't take the whole week off work, but I can take a few days and try to work reasonable hours otherwise. You can work on lesson plans here if you need to.

Poor Alex. I'm sure you did the best you could talking to him. It sounds a little like the kid is a loner. Probably he could find some friends online. He needs a support system. Don't worry - you're a teacher, it's not up to you to provide that for him.

Love,

Jeff

**July 20****th**

**To: Jeff**

**From: Byron**

I bought my plane tickets. I attached the itinerary. I think a little California vacation might be just the thing I need before I get too involved in lesson plans.

I bought a slow cooker and made dinner for me, Nicky and Maggie. Turkey pot-pie. Sorry it's not vegetarian, but you aren't going to get me to change that much. The food was good and so incredibly easy to make. I think I'm a slow cooker convert. By the way, I've been putting aside the money that I normally would have spent on takeout. Already I've saved enough to cover my plane ticket out there.

You're so good for (and to!) me.

Love,

By.

**July 22****nd**

**TXT MSG**

**From Jeff Schafer**

This is how much I love you. I'm off to see Carol to get slow cooker recipes.

**July 22****nd**

**TXT MSG**

**From Byron Pike**

When's the last time you saw Carol or your dad?

**July 22****nd**

**TXT MSG**

**From Jeff Schafer**

Last Christmas

**July 22****nd**

**TXT MSG**

**From Byron Pike**

Things still that bad with them?

**July 22****nd**

**TXT MSG **

**From Jeff Schafer**

You have no idea. On the plus side, Gracie is rebelling by trying to get close to me.

**July 22****nd**

**TXT MSG**

**From Byron Pike**

Thank God for teenage rebellion.

**July 22****nd**

**TXT MSG**

**From Jeff Schafer**

I know, right? Almost to their house, then off to work. I'll call you later.

**July 25****th**

**To: Byron**

**From: Jeff**

Subject: Recipes

By-

I attached some slow-cooker recipes. They're all vegetarian. It's not that I'm trying to change you, it's just what I happened to have around. Most of them came from Carol, as you know from my texts. I'm considering trying to repair my damaged relationship with my dad and stepmother. Going over and asking her for her slow cooker recipes was an excuse to see how she'd handle me being there. If you ask me, it was fine as long as we kept the conversation on food. At this point I'm not sure if it's still the gay thing or it's the alcoholic thing or the college dropout thing or a combo of the three, but they clearly disapprove of my very existence. The thing with Gracie cracks me up though. She started calling me about a year ago when she turned sixteen. I think at first it was to rebel, but we've gotten a little closer and I actually like the kid. I got her a summer job waiting tables at a chef friend's restaurant closer to Palo. Dad & Carol would have put a stop to her working with me, definitely.

I'm OK with that. I've long ago given up on any expectations of functional happy family times with those two. At least I'll always have Richard, Dawn, Mary Anne and now Gracie.

Love,

Jeff

**July 26****th**

**To: Jeff**

**From: Byron**

Subject: Re: Recipes

I know we already talked about this last night. Don't give up on your dad and Carol. If it's worth repairing your relationship with them, it's worth it to do it right even if it takes years.

Counting down: One week until CA!

Love,

Byron

**August 1****st**

**TXT MSG**

**From Byron Pike**

Finished packing. See you tomorrow!

**August 1****st**

**TXT MSG**

**From Jeff Schafer**

Can't wait!


	7. Rex's Apartment

**Rex's News**

_A/N: Yes, I know. I skipped Byron's visit to California. I swear there's a good reason for it, which I hope becomes apparent in the next few chapters__**. **_

Only two weeks in to the new school year, and one month after his visit to California, Byron was headed home to Stoneybrook for a long weekend for Mallory's wedding.

Really, he didn't need to be there until Friday, the day of the rehearsal, but Byron chose to head to Connecticut on Thursday. He hadn't seen Rex since the night before the reunion. On the few occasions he'd talked to Rex, he failed to mention that he was seeing Jeff again. Byron knew Rex would be disapproving. Rex remembered all too well the first time he'd met Byron, and having gotten to know him in the last ten years, Rex knew the cause of Byron's pain that first time. He knew Jeff had done that and he knew Jeff had hurt Byron terribly in college. Byron was fourteen years Rex's junior and knew that Rex harbored somewhat protective feelings for him.

So, Thursday evening found Byron knocking on Rex's door. Rex opened up, "B!" he said happily. Years ago, Byron had mentioned to Rex that he hated being called 'By,' that By had been a name only Jeff could use. Rex loved nicknames (and was thrilled that Byron continued to call him Rex and not by his given name, Stephen) and took Byron's nickname one further and simply called him B. Rex enveloped Byron in a hug and squeezed.

"Rex!" Byron called. He held up a bottle, "I brought some wine."

Rex took the bottle and looked at it appraisingly. "Good choice, B. You have excellent taste in wine."

Byron followed Rex to the kitchen, where Rex opened up the bottle and poured two glasses. He handed one to Byron. "So. Long time, no see."

"I know. Yeah," Byron nodded. "I've been a little busy."

Rex beckoned him, "Come to the living room and tell me all about it." He grabbed the wine and made his way to the well-apportioned living room. Byron noticed that by the time they'd settled in on the couch, Rex had drained his wine and was already filling up the glass a second time. "I'm glad you came, you know? I wanted to talk to you about something."

"What?"

Rex waved him off. "Give it time. Let's get small-talk out of the way first, right?"

Byron smiled. Rex was a big believer in small-talk. "_People don't need to have big revealing conversations," _Rex had told him once, _"Everything you need to know about someone you can learn through a little small talk."_

"OK, tell me about your business," Byron said genially. Rex was an interior decorator.

He owned a narrow three-story building in Stoneybrook's downtown. The first floor was used as his business with an office and small showroom. The second and third floors each held a one bedroom apartment. Rex lived on the second floor and he rented out the third floor to a quiet woman who lived alone with her three cats.

"The business of decor in a small town is pathetic. I can't tell you how many identical doctor's waiting rooms I've designed in the last year. And they all want the same thing." Rex shrugged. "It makes for an easy paycheck. But I like a challenge. And I've gotten some work out around McClellan Road. Those rich ladies have no idea what they want, but they're willing to spend and to believe that any gay man knows more about home decor than they do. So I'm there to help them out."

Byron smiled. He'd only ever been in one house on McClellan, the Thomas/Brewer house. He was surprised to see that their house had really just been a lot like the Pikes, only bigger. Same traditional sturdy furniture. Clothes and sporting equipment all over the place. Kids shouting and making a mess in the kitchen.

"So..." Rex went on, grabbing Byron's knee. "Tell me about your job."

Byron sighed. "It's just these kids, you know? They don't care about music. Only half of them care about school, and then they're over-worrying about it. I don't get the prep system. At all." Byron sighed again. "My one student, the guitar student I told you about?" Rex nodded, he remembered. "He told me he came out to his parents and they weren't happy. And this isn't what I signed up for, you know? I'm not a gay counselor. I'm not there to instruct kids who are coming out to their families. I had no clue what to say to him."

"So what'd you tell him?"

Byron shrugged. "What could I have told him? I told him that it's unfortunate, but a lot of gay kids aren't accepted by their families right away. I told him about Jordan and how we're good now. I told him that it's more likely than not that his parents would come around."

Rex laughed, "I'm sure you were fine."

"No way. This kid wanted answers. He wanted real advice, he wanted me to tell him what to tell his parents. And I just..." Byron opened his arms wide, "I just don't have that in me."

Rex poured himself a third glass of wine. Byron could see his face getting flushed. "Maybe not, but I'm sure it helped the kid, just knowing that you're there. That you had to come out to your family at one point too. Even if most of them took it better than his parents did."

"I guess," Byron said a little uncertainly, grabbing the bottle of wine from Rex and topping off his own glass.

"Tell me about your sister's wedding," Rex said.

"Really? More small talk?" Byron asked.

Rex laughed, "There's never too much small talk!"

"All right. Um, it's a wedding. She met this guy, Ben, a few years ago. He's the son of some guy in the Governor's cabinet which means the wedding is going to be full of government political types. His family is rich, but he seems like a nice enough guy. They're getting married at the Presbyterian Church. It'll all be very WASP-y and clean. Mallory's wearing white, which is kind of ironic, but I'm pretty sure that Ben's family would have it no other way. I'm pretty sure that they don't actually _know_ that she got knocked up at eighteen and gave the baby away. And if they do, it was probably the most scandalous thing to ever happen to their good family."

Rex laughed loudly. "You don't cut anyone breaks, do you?"

Byron drained the last of his wine, "I guess not," he admitted. He leaned back against the back of the couch and settled in. Byron hadn't been drinking as much the last few months - since he'd been seeing Jeff, really-and the two glasses of wine were making him feel silly and content and woozy all at once.

Rex put down his glass on the coffee table and settled in next to Byron. They sat there, in companionable silence for a couple minutes.

"B?," Rex said suddenly, and grabbed on to Byron's hand.

"Yeah?" Byron asked vaguely.

Rex leaned in and kissed Byron on the lips softly. Byron was surprised, the wine having made his brain foggy and slow to react. Rex took Byron's lack of reaction to mean an invitation to more and leaned in further, pressing his lips to Byron's harder and trying to sneak his tongue in.

Byron didn't pull away immediately. To be fair, he didn't exactly kiss Rex back, either.

But he gave Rex several moments of hope by allowing himself to be kissed by the older man.

Finally, Byron put his hands on Rex's shoulders and moved him away. "Rex," he said slowly.

"God, B. This is what I wanted to talk to you about. Me and you. Things never worked out between us before, we had such bad timing and I was a little freaked out over the age difference. But it's not such a big deal anymore, is it? You're not a kid anymore. We're both single, we both know each other and we're already friends. Let's just...give this a try?" Rex's face was red and flushed from the wine, the kissing and the speech, which he'd obviously been rehearsing.

"Rex." Byron broke off. "I can't."

Rex scooted back on the couch. "Why not?"

"I'm kind of seeing someone." Byron said.

"Oh." Rex picked up the bottle of wine and poured the last bit into his wine glass, taking a long drink. "What were you coming here for? What you normally do? Were you just coming here to get laid, even though you're 'sort of seeing someone.'"

"No. Actually I was coming to tell you that I _am_ seeing someone."

"Is it serious?" Byron nodded. Rex continued. "Anyone I know?"

Byron hesitated. "Jeff," he said softly.

"Jeff?" Rex asked. A look of realization crossed his face. "_Jeff_ Jeff? Jeff from high school Jeff?" Byron nodded, but Rex continued as though he hadn't seen, "Jeff who called out fags in the locker room Jeff? Jeff who dumped you right after he moved to California Jeff?"

Byron had a feeling Rex wouldn't handle this news well, but Byron also hadn't been anticipating Rex's interest in him.

"Yes, Rex. _That _Jeff."

"How'd this happen?"

"It was the reunion. My class ten year reunion. He came and we reconnected."

"Did you forget how much he hurt you?"

"No, I didn't. I'll never forget that. But we talked about it and...I think he's changed."

"Does he live in New York?"

"California."

Rex looked gobsmacked. "You're in a relationship with a guy who's hurt you in the past. And it's a long distance relationship?"

"I know it seems bad," Byron said. "But it's me and Jeff. We have this history and I think we belong together."

Rex got up off the couch and grabbed the empty bottle of wine and the two wine glasses. He marched to the kitchen. Byron sat there for a moment before getting up and following Rex into the kitchen. Rex was busy opening another bottle of wine. Byron went up to him, from behind and put his arms around Rex and rested his chin on Rex's shoulder. "I'm sorry. I didn't know you'd take it like this."

Rex made a slight, snorting laugh. He turned around and pulled Byron in to a hug. "I feel like I've been waiting for you. I've been waiting for you to get older so I didn't feel so creepy. So you're twenty-eight and I thought that was good. The fourteen years doesn't seem so bad now, right? Twenty-eight and forty-two? And we get along, B. We've always gotten along so well."

Byron pulled back, out of the hug, but kept his hands on Rex's shoulders. "You're one of my very best friends. And your opinion is very important to me. And I knew you weren't going to be happy about me and Jeff and that's why I waited to tell you." Byron paused. "I visited him for a week last month."

"How was it?"

Byron smiled and stepped back. He leaned against the counter. "This one time, I'd mentioned to Jeff that when I was dating Thomas Not Tom that we went out all the time, but I'm a homebody and I'd rather sit on my couch and watch Doctor Who marathons." Rex rolled his eyes. "So when I got to Jeff's apartment last month, he'd bought the entire new Doctor Who series on DVD and we sat in and watched them. Several a day for a whole week."

"So that's how you're sure about him? He bought you a TV show on DVD?"

"No. I'm actually not sure about him at all." Byron admitted. "He cheated on me in college. He slept around so much he doesn't even know how many guys he's been with. He's a recovering alcoholic. He's a college dropout. So..No. I'm not sure about him and I'm constantly questioning my sanity and my decision to be with him. And I know if I really want to be with him, I'll end up having to move to California."

Rex moved in, pressed his whole body against Byron's. "Then don't. Don't go -stay here with me." He put his lips to Byron's and kissed. He waited. Byron, again, didn't push away, and after a few unsettled moments, Byron kissed back.

Byron had a little devil on one shoulder and a little angel on the other. _Don't do this! What about Jeff?_ the angel whispered in his ear. But the other ear heard the little devil shouting, _If it wasn't for Jeff, you'd have taken Rex up on his offer and you'd be perfectly happy. Why be with someone with as much baggage as Jeff when he's on the other side of the country? You know you and Rex are good together! _

Rex began fumbling with Byron's fly. He got Byron's jeans unbuttoned and unzipped and stuck his hand down Byron's boxers and began stroking.

Byron gasped. This was almost unfair. Between the wine and being jerked off in such a needy manner, he could barely think straight. Finally, he grabbed Rex's wrist. "Stop!" he begged.

Rex removed his hand but thrust his hips into Byron's. "B," he moaned, and began kissing Byron's neck. Byron steeled himself, placing his hands onto the edge of the counter.

"Rex. No. I'm not doing this."

Rex stepped back. "You're choosing him?"

Byron faltered. "I need to think about it," he admitted.

Rex nodded. "Fair enough. But I want you to know that I love you too much to remain just friends." Byron looked away, and Rex persisted. "I do. I love you and I've loved you for a while and I'm kicking myself for having waited this long to tell you."

Byron had no answer. Because he knew that if Jeff hadn't come back for the reunion, that he, Byron, would have been happy to date Rex. In fact, he'd kind of been expecting that they'd end up together. Until the ten year reunion. Until the return of Jeff.

And now Byron didn't know _what_ to think.


	8. Triplet Bonding

_A/N: This is the first chapter I wrote to the sequel, I built the entire rest of the story around this specific chapter. It's my personal favorite - I hope you like it too! _

**Triplet Bonding**

Byron stood on the front stoop of Rex's building waiting for Adam and Jordan. Earlier Byron had snuck into the bathroom and frantically texted Adam and Jordan asking them to call him and give him an excuse to get out of Rex's apartment. A few minutes later, Byron and Rex were uncomfortably snacking on cheese and halfway through a second bottle of wine when Byron's cell phone rang.

He looked at the phone and tried to feign surprise. "It's Jordan," he said as he answered the phone.

"Triplet bonding night." Jordan said quickly. "Meet us outside Stephen's building in fifteen minutes." To everyone else, Rex was Stephen.

"OK," Byron said. "I'll be there." He hung up the phone and turned to Rex. "Jordan is coming to pick me up in a few minutes." He hesitated. "I gotta go...do family things." Byron quickly drained the last of his wine, his fourth glass of the night.

"You can't stay?"

Byron shook his head. "I haven't spent time with Adam in years. He really wants to go out."

"All right," Rex nodded his head. He leaned in and hugged Byron. "Just think about what I said, OK? Think about us?"

"I will," Byron promised. Because, God. What else was he going to do besides think about it?

So that's how Byron escaped. How he came to be standing on the deserted downtown street waiting for his brothers. Soon enough a pair of headlights came toward Byron and as they got closer, Byron recognized Jordan's Toyota. Jordan was driving, Adam in the passenger seat. The car wasn't even at a complete standstill yet when Byron yanked open the door and climbed into the back seat.

"Where we going?" Adam asked.

"I don't care. Just...let's go." Byron said distractedly.

Adam turned around. "You're drunk already."

Byron smiled and touched his finger to his nose. "Is it that obvious?"

Jordan laughed, "I think I'm drunk from the wine fumes coming off you. God, Byron. What the hell?"

Byron leaned back and smiled. He loved the company of his two straight brothers more than he could ever tell them. "Me and Stephen drank a lot of wine tonight."

"Stephen and I," Adam corrected him without thinking. "What_ else_ were you and the old man doing?"

Byron leaned forward and slugged Adam in the shoulder. "Just talkin'. And don't call him an old man."

"How old is he again?" Adam asked.

"Forty-two." Byron answered.

Jordan whistled. "Jay-sus Byron. If he was a woman, people'd be calling him a cougar."

Adam laughed but Byron ignored this quip. He stared out the window.

"How's Jeff?" Adam asked.

Byron shrugged. "He's just Jeff."

"What's that mean?" Adam asked.

"Look, can we not talk about this right now? Let's go get something to eat. Let's go drinking."

"Drinking?" Jordan laughed.

"Yeah. We haven't had drinks together since when? Our fourth year at Uconn? Maybe not even then, maybe our third year. So let's go. Let's find someplace to go and drink all our troubles away."

"What troubles?" Jordan asked.

Byron leaned forward and put his hand on Jordan's shoulder. "You have a baby and a newly pregnant wife at home. That's troublesome in a way." Jordan laughed. Byron grabbed Adam's shoulder. "You're home. You're not going back to the Peace Corps, so you're jobless for the moment and living at home with mom and dad. That's definitely troublesome." All three of them were laughing now, and Byron drunkenly continued. "So. Let's go drink our motherfucking problems away. Mallory can pick us up later. Or mom or dad. But let's go drinking."

Jordan laughed. "Byron's on a mission!" he exclaimed, but he sped up toward the edge of town to their favorite bar, The Stoney Lounge, a small dive that served appetizers and drinks, and featured a small stage for local musicians.

Adam turned around, "So what troubles do you need to drink away?" He said it like a joke, but there was a hint of concern in his voice.

Byron shook his head laughing. "That is something I will only discuss when I've had a minimum of three more drinks."

The Stoney Lounge was small, smoky and perfect. Even on a Thursday, there were no tables free, but Byron, Adam and Jordan did manage to snag three stools together at the bar. The three of them seemed to attract a little bit of attention. It wasn't often you saw three identical faces in a row. And even though Adam was thin and deeply tan from his work in Africa, and Jordan's haircut was severely short compared to Byron's slightly too long unkempt hair and constant five o'clock shadow, there was no doubt in looking at them that they were identical triplets through and through.

The bar tender looked up and did a double-take before coming over to them. She smiled brightly, flirtatiously. "What can I get you?" Byron noticed her eyes scanning their hands, looking for wedding rings.

"Corona," Jordan answered.

"G&T," Adam answered.

"Scotch on the rocks. Leave the bottle." The bartender raised her eyes at Byron, but reached down for a half-full bottle of scotch and set it in front of him while she went to get glasses and the other drinks.

"Leave the bottle?" Adam asked incredulously.

"Did I tell you that Jeff is an alcoholic? He's in recovery?"

"Is he?" Adam asked. "I had no idea."

"Yeah. So I've been trying not to drink. But sometimes, the night is right for drinking."

"Jesus," Jordan said. "What the hell happened?"

"Not yet," Byron shook his head. "I have a situation and I think drinking is the way to figure it out. So that's your job tonight, you two. To remember what I say tonight and if I can't remember it tomorrow, you need to let me know what I say."

The bartender came back with Jordan and Adam's drinks and set a glass of ice in front of Byron. She tapped the side of it, "I'll keep these coming," she said with a wink.

Adam watched her go wistfully. "Seriously. Straight unmarried man right here and she has to flirt with my gay brother." Adam turned to them. "I haven't had sex in two years!"

Byron raised his glass. "Drink up! Maybe you'll get lucky. Maybe you'll get a bridesmaid at the wedding on Saturday."

Adam touched his glass to Byron's. "Here's hoping." He thought for a moment. "Who _are_ the bridesmaids?"

Adam and Byron turned to Jordan blankly. "God you guys. She's your sister. Don't you know anything about her?" Jordan asked. When neither one of them answered he sighed, "Jessi Ramsey is the head bridesmaid, whatever you call that. Vanessa, Margo and Claire, obviously. Then Mal's two college friends, Trina and Betsy." Adam and Byron still looked blank. Who were Trina and Betsy? Jordan took a long pull from his beer. "You're kidding me. Trina and Betsy practically fucking lived at the house for one summer."

"Trina and Betsy?" Adam said thoughtfully. "Were they hot?"

Jordan threw his hands up into the air. "Christ! Yes! They were totally hot! I can understand Byron not remembering that there were two really fucking hot girls under our roof for weeks. But you?"

Adam smiled, "I'm kidding. I totally remember them. God, I hope Betsy is single. I'm going to try to hook up with her."

"Are you kidding?" Byron asked.

"What? No." Adam said. He saw Byron's face, slack-jawed and wide-eyed. "It's been two years, Byron. Two years."

Byron quickly drank his scotch and filled the glass back up. He let the second glass sit for a few minutes while the three talked and the scotch worked its way through Byron's system. Byron could feel the effects of the additional alcohol spread like ink through his veins. He liked the feeling, the warmth, he decided.

He stood up, "I'm going to the bathroom," he announced and stumbled from the bar to the bathroom. To get to the men's room, Byron had to go down a short hall way and through a coat closet/nook before finding the door. It was a hidden bathroom, one of the reasons Byron found the Stoney Lounge so charming.

Byron took care of his business and when he stepped out, he noticed a figure standing in the nook. He blinked to adjust his eyes and found himself looking at the bartender.

"Hey," she said in a friendly tone.

Byron nodded, "Hey yourself."

"Having a good time?"

Byron nodded again. "Yup. Thanks for leaving the bottle. I kind of needed it tonight."

"Did you?" She paused. "I've always admired a guy who can handle scotch."

It was Byron's turn to pause. His brain was slow to react and he suddenly realized she wasn't standing in this nook to get something from her coat pocket. She'd been waiting for him and was flirting with him. Half of Byron felt like groaning. The other half was feeling slightly flattered.

"My brother thinks you're cute," he said.

She stopped. "Which one is your brother? The tan one or the short-haired one?"

"They're both my brothers. But the one with_out_ the wedding ring."

She looked at Byron's hand. "I don't see a ring on _that_ finger."

Byron wiggled the fingers on his left hand. "There's a law against me getting married." The bartender looked momentarily confused. "Gay," he clarified.

"You're gay?" She asked and Byron nodded. "Are you_ really_ gay or are you just saying you're gay because you're being hit on by a creepy bartender and you want her to leave you alone?"

"Really gay. Sex with other men gay. Just got jerked off by a guy friend gay. Never even kissed a girl gay."

"That's pretty gay," the bartender agreed.

"It is." Byron nodded seriously. "But my brother...he really thinks you're hot."

The bartender wrinkled her nose. "He's too skinny. And he ordered at G&T."

"So?"

She sighed. "So I don't go for the gin and tonic guys." After a very slight pause, she continued, "Can I kiss you?" She was being awfully forward.

"I'd rather you didn't." Byron said. "No offense."

"I'm not offended." She shook it off. "I get it, you're gay."

"Can I go back to my brothers now?"

"Sure." She stepped aside and he passed.

_What the hell had just happened?_ Byron wondered. Byron slid back into his bar stool.

"Took you long enough," Jordan said. "We thought you fell in."

"I just had the most bizarre experience." Byron's eyes were wide and he picked up his glass and drained it all at once. Again, he waited a few minutes for the warmth to spread like tendrils through his body. He told Adam and Jordan what happened.

Adam was livid. "I'm sorry I'm thin. I've been living in fucking _Af_rica the last two years. I couldn't exactly get fat off the processed food at the local Wal-Mart."

"Pipe down," Byron said. "She's fucking nuts anyway. I'm trying to warn you away from flirting with this very mentally unstable woman, all right?"

"She _is_ cute though." Adam said.

"Have you really never kissed a girl?" Jordan asked Byron suddenly.

Byron looked at Jordan like he was crazy. "No. Remember? Gay?"

Jordan waved his hand away. "No, I get it. I just thought that in high school, while you were still in the closet..." he trailed off.

"I was never in the closet to myself. I was, like, _eleven_ when I figured out that I'm gay. I knew I wasn't going to kiss a girl."

"There's something so sad about that to me." Jordan held up his empty bottle toward the bartender and she nodded, bringing him another one over. She didn't look at either Byron or Adam when she brought it.

"What's so sad about it?"

Jordan shrugged. "I love kissing girls." He closed his eyes and smiled. "They're so soft and pretty."

"Jordan!" Byron exclaimed laughing. "That's obviously not what I like!"

Adam guffawed, but Jordan looked momentarily confused. "How do you know though? I mean, if you've never kissed a girl?"

Byron rolled his eyes. "Have you ever kissed a guy?"

Jordan looked taken aback. "Well. No."

"Then how do you know you don't like it?"

"OK. I get it."

Adam downed his G&T and got the bartenders attention. "Another?" She nodded and started mixing. She brought it over and laid it in front of Adam, who began drinking immediately. He got about halfway through when he cleared his throat.

"I have," he said.

"You have what?" Jordan asked.

"Kissed a guy."

"_What_?" Jordan and Byron exclaimed together.

Adam quickly downed the rest of his drink and shook his head quickly. "I just was...wondering. What it was like. And so me and someone whose name I will _not_ mention got drunk one night and started talking about you, Byron. And we decided to try it."

"And?" Byron said.

"Who?" Jordan asked at the same time.

Adam turned to look at Jordan first. "I'm not saying who. You know him though." He turned to Byron, "And I'm straight. That's all I learned from it."

"Well, shit." Byron said, stunned.

"Jesus," Jordan whispered looking in awe at Adam, whose face was bright red.

The second scotch was hitting Byron's brain hard by now and he was overcome by emotion and love for his brother all of a sudden. He leaned over and hugged Adam hard. "That's so awesome. I feel like you did that for me."

Adam laughed and patted Byron's head. Byron continued, "I'm going to go kiss that bartender."

"What?" Adam asked laughing.

Byron nodded and poured himself a third scotch. "I'm going to. Because I need to kiss a girl before I die. Or before I run off and marry Jeff or whoever. I'm going to go kiss her." Byron took a swig of the scotch for courage.

"Byron, you don't have to," Adam exclaimed. "Maybe you shouldn't."

"I know I don't _have_ to. But it seems like a really good idea right now."

Jordan grabbed his arm, "You're gonna regret this tomorrow."

"I swear I won't," and he shook Jordan's arm off as he began trying to get the bartender's attention. She looked up at him questioningly. He motioned for her to go toward the hallway and the men's room. She narrowed her eyes, but held up a finger, indicating she'd be there in a minute.

Byron got up from his stool for a second time that night and went to the nook. Less than a minute later, the bartender came in.

"I changed my mind," Byron said.

"About what?"

"Kissing me. You can kiss me."

"Aren't you gay?"

"Yes. But I've never kissed a girl and that made my brother really sad for me."

She snorted, "Well, has he ever kissed a guy?"

"I made the same point."

The bartender put her arms around his waist. "Are you sure you want to do this...what's your name?"

"Byron."

"Byron. I'm Amanda. Are you sure you want to do this?"

Byron nodded. Amanda leaned in and touched her lips to Byron's. He was surprised by the softness, the thinness of her lips, the slightness of her tongue as it reached into his mouth. He'd assumed that kissing a girl wouldn't be that different than kissing a guy, but he was wrong. She felt so..._small _in comparison to men. Byron leaned in, anxious to get a real feel for a girl and he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her close. She was so much shorter than him. The only time Byron'd ever been with someone shorter was Rex, who wasn't even two inches shorter than Byron. It was the feel of her breasts on his ribcage that really threw him. It wasn't a feeling he could get used to and he was cringing inwardly at the feeling. She was just too soft and small for him. She felt delicate.

He pulled away first. Amanda was breathing hard. "Well?" she asked.

"Still gay." Byron assured her.

She laughed. "Well it was worth a try."

The stood there awkwardly for a minute before Byron said, "Well. Thanks."

Amanda laughed again. "I'd better get back to work," she pointed out to the bar area and turned to leave.

Byron took a few moments to gather himself before going back out to the bar. Adam and Jordan weren't there. He looked around. They were sitting at a booth in the corner and waved him over.

"A table opened up," Adam said as Byron slid into the booth across from them. Byron grabbed his scotch and took another long pull. "We ordered some food."

"Thanks." Byron said. He looked at his brothers, noticed the booth starting to sway slightly and said to them. "I love you guys, you know that?"

Jordan rolled his eyes. "All right, Drunky Magee. We get it. You love us. Now, do you want to tell us what's going on?"

Byron sighed. "All right. So I got back together with Jeff at the reunion. Which both of you know about, right?" Adam and Jordan nodded solemnly, sipping from their drinks. "Well, it's been good so far, you know? Even though he lives in California and we've only seen each other that week after the reunion and one week in the beginning of August. We talk every day, or almost every day. And we email and text and all that."

"So what's with the need to get drunk and kiss a girl tonight?" Adam persisted.

Byron sighed. "Jeff is amazingly fucked up. Like, seriously fucked up. He's an alcoholic, which right now seems like I shouldn't be talking. But I don't _need_ this," he held up his scotch, "I just want it right now. Jeff is like a _real_ alcoholic. He's in "The Program," Byron made air quotes with his fingers, "he goes to the meetings and has a sponsor and some kind of weird chip thing that's supposed to be symbolic. And I want to have wine with dinner, OK? Does that make me a terrible person that I just want to drink wine with dinner a couple nights a week?" Adam started to say something, but Byron continued. "Jeff cheated on me in college. That's why he broke up with me. He cheated on me but never told me, and instead just broke up with me because he felt so fucking guilty or something. So that started off this whole cycle of him drinking and fucking a bunch of random strange men. And I mean a _bunch_ of random strange men. And him failing out of college and not being able to keep a job. You guys, Jeff is seriously one fucked up guy."

"So you want to break up with him?" Jordan asked.

"No." Byron said. "I really don't. I think. I don't know. I think I love him, but can you really love someone who treated you like shit in the past?"

"Byron," Adam said soothingly. "That was a long time ago."

"That's not all." Byron took a deep breath and continued. "I went to Rex's this evening. I mean, Stephen's. I went to Stephen's today because I had to tell him I'm back with Jeff. And Rex..." Byron trailed off.

The table was silent.

"Stephen I mean, Stephen asked me to be with him. Like, be his boyfriend. He..." Byron was drunkenly looking for the right words. "He told me he loves me."

"But you love Jeff." Adam pointed out simply.

"I love Rex too."

"Why do you call him Rex anyway?" Jordan asked.

Byron shook his head. "Long story," and Adam laughed. "Anyway. My point is that if Stephen had told me he loved me the night before our reunion, which is the last time I'd seen him until tonight, I would have agreed to be in this exclusive relationship right away. He's, like, one of my best friends and I _know _there's an age difference. But I do love him and I've loved him for a long time. And I always kind of thought we would end up together."

Byron was starting to feel weepy, so he finished off his glass of scotch and started to pour another. Jordan reached over and took the bottle away from him. "So you decided to come out and get drunk to figure this thing out?"

Byron nodded, tears starting to come to his eyes.

"Who do you love more?" Adam asked simply.

Byron looked at Adam with wonder. "It's not that easy."

Adam shrugged. "Why not?" He'd finished his G&T, but instead of ordering another, he grabbed the bottle of scotch from Jordan and poured some for himself. He took a sip and made a face.

"Because I don't know the answer to that. My heart," Byron pounded his chest, "tells me that I love Jeff more. But my head," he tapped his head, "tells me that Jeff is screwed up and will fuck me over again and that Rex...that Stephen is the safer choice." Byron looked at his brothers, staring at him with worried looks. "Tell me what to do guys."

Jordan laughed. "Byron! We can't tell you that!"

"Seriously," Byron begged. "You can. I'll do whatever you say. I just can't make this decision on my own." And he started crying for real this time.

Adam scooted out from his side of the booth and came and sat next to Byron. He put his arm around Byron. "Hey, listen Byron. You're drunk. You're so very drunk right now." Byron nodded his head in agreement. "Things might look better in the morning."

Byron laughed and sniffed hard. "Things'll look a lot more hungover in the morning you mean."

Adam slammed the rest of his scotch. "OK." He smacked the table and both Byron and Jordan jumped. "We're going to play a game!"

At that moment, the waitress brought the food over with another beer for Jordan. For a few minutes, the boys were silent as they began eating. The food in Byron's stomach was absorbing some of the alcohol, helping him to feel slightly better and keeping the booth from spinning so severely.

"This game?" he asked Adam.

"Right, the game." Adam turned to face Byron. "Close your eyes," he instructed. Byron did so, his body swaying with new dizziness in the dark.

"Now. I'm going to give you two choices and you pick your preference. Don't think. Just say the first thing that pops into your mind, all right?"

"Yes." Byron said seriously.

"OK. We'll start easy. Pepperoni or mushrooms?"

"Pepperoni."

"Margo or Claire?"

"Claire."

"Doctor Who or Star Trek?"

"Doctor Who"

"Blue jeans or Dockers?"

"Blue jeans."

"Guitar or piano?"

"Guitar.

"X Box or PS 3?"

"PS 3."

"Empire or Jedi?"

"Jedi."

"Football or baseball?"

"Baseball."

"Dick or pussy?"

"Dick."

"Oral or anal?"

"Anal." ("_God_," Jordan muttered)

"Top or bottom?"

"Top."

"Jeff or Rex?"

"Jeff. No. Rex. No. Jeff." Byron opened his eyes. "I messed up the game, didn't I?"

Jordan and Adam groaned. "Great idea," Jordan said to Adam. "He's no closer to knowing, but thank _god_ we know that Byron prefers anal sex and being on top."

Adam laughed. "I already knew that. Nicky told me that he and Maggie walked in on Byron and Jeff. Believe me, we were _all_ surprised that Byron was the top."

"Nicky told you that?" Byron slurred. "Wait. Why were you surprised?"

Adam may have answered that question, but Byron was starting to fade. The whole room was spinning and Byron decided to lay on the booth bench to slow it down a little. Things went a little dark for a while, and before he knew it, Byron was being shaken awake by Adam and his father.

"Come on Byron," John Pike said. He'd obviously been woken out of a sound sleep to come pick up his inebriated sons.

"What's going on?" Byron asked confused.

"I'm taking you home."

"But I'm comfortable." Byron resisted.

Suddenly the bartender appeared. She handed Adam the tab. "Here's your tab."

Adam looked at it and his jaw dropped. "Jesus, Byron. Do you know how much a half bottle of scotch from behind the bar is?"

Byron sat up slowly and reached for his wallet. He pulled out his credit card and threw it at Adam. "I don't care. The night's on me." He tried to lay back down, but John used the opportunity to pull Byron to his feet.

"Come on Byron. We're going home. We'll get you into bed." John stumbled as Byron threw his arm around his dad's shoulder and leaned heavily on him.

"I love you daddy," Byron slurred.

"Atta boy," John tried to pat Byron's shoulder and hold him up at the same time. "I love you too," he said in a mock soothing voice.

"What about Jordan's car?"

"Mallory's going to drive Jordan's car back. We called Corrie and told her Jordan'll be back tomorrow morning." John was starting to stumble under Byron's weight.

Byron looked up and waved. "Hi Mallory."

Mallory smiled wryly. "Hi Byron. You look like you had a good time tonight."

"You don't know the half of it."

Adam brought the credit card receipt over and Byron signed it without looking. He handed it back to Adam. "Figure out the tip. An' make it good because she's a good kisser." Byron burst out laughing at that.

"What?" John and Mallory said together.

"It's nothing," Adam said quickly. "Just an inside joke."

"What's an inside joke?" Jordan asked, stumbling sideways back from the bathroom.

Mallory turned to Jordan. "Byron said the bartender was a good kisser. That _better_ have been information he got from Adam. Because you're married and Byron's with Jeff."

The triplets looked at each other and laughed. "It's nothing." Adam assured her again. "It's an inside joke."

John grabbed Byron by the arm, keeping him hoisted up as he walked his drunken son out of the bar and into the chilly September air and into the back of the minivan where Byron promptly blacked out again.


	9. Hungover and undecided

**Hung Over and Undecided**.

The next morning, Byron was woken up by a soft knocking on the door. He started to sit up, but the pounding in his head made it impossible to move. He turned over and saw Adam and Jordan crowded together and still asleep on the bed next to him. Byron rolled over and decided to ignore the knocking on the door and promptly fell back to sleep.

Some time later, the door opened with no knocking this time. It was Corrie, Jordan's wife. She surveyed the room and rolled her eyes to see her husband passed out in a twin bed with his brother. She leaned over and shook Jordan.

"Jordan," she whispered.

He rolled over. "Mmmfff."

"Jordan," she shook him harder.

"God, what? What time is it?"

"It's after ten in the morning."

"What're you doing here?"

She held up two bottles. "I brought you guys some Pedialyte and Excedrin. It's supposed to be the best hangover cure."

"Aww..you're sweet." He leaned up to kiss her but she backed up.

"God you stink. It's making my stomach turn. Anyway, your mom wants you all up now."

From the other bed, Byron groaned. "I'm awake," he mumbled.

"Me too," Adam said throatily.

"Get up guys," Corrie demanded. "Your dad will be back from the train station with Nicky and Maggie soon."

Byron rolled over. "I am _not_ getting up. I don't think I can move."

Corrie sighed impatiently and left the room. She came back two minutes later with three glasses of red liquid. She handed the cups out. "Drink," she commanded. She had a large bottle of Excedrin and doled it out to each of them. The boys obediently took the medicine and drank the Pedialyte.

She sat on the edge of Byron's bed. "So what'd you guys do last night?"

"We drank, Cor," Jordan said. "We drank a lot." He looked at Byron and smiled. "Well, technically, Byron drank a lot. Adam and I drank a regular amount."

Corrie laughed. She shook Byron's leg and he tried to smile, but he honestly didn't feel like smiling. "I'm going to go down and help Mallory finish her wedding favors. You guys should get up and at least try to help."

When the door shut, Adam said, "Jordan. I don't care that she's your wife. I am _not_ getting up right now."

"Neither am I," Jordan said.

The three were silent for a few minutes. Slowly stretching and working tight muscles, massaging aching temples, and rubbing sleep from their eyes. The door opened and Nicky and Maggie stood in the doorway.

"You guys are a sight for sore eyes," Nicky said happily and a little too loudly.

"Shh." Byron insisted.

Nicky walked in but Maggie hesitated in the doorway. "Don't worry, I'm sure Byron's dressed this time. Oh and look, he's in the bed alone. God, you _are_ dressed, Byron. You're still in last night's clothes."

Byron did smile weakly at that. "Fuck you." But he scooted to the edge of the bed to make room for Nicky, who perched on the edge.

Maggie made a face. "I'm going to go help Mallory, I think."

"Aww...are you sure babe?" Nicky asked.

Maggie hesitated before saying, "It doesn't smell very good in here," and turning around and walking away, shutting the door a little too loudly behind her.

"So," Nicky shook Byron's leg. "What was the cause for celebration last night?"

"Triplet bonding," Jordan said. "And Byron's troubles."

"Awww..." Nicky said in a baby voice. "What's twoubwing you Bywon?" Byron responded by kicking Nicky hard in the leg.

"Byron has to choose between two men." Adam said.

"Could we not talk about this right now?" Byron asked.

"But we never figured out what you should do last night!" Adam exclaimed.

"We figured out that you kissed a guy once," Byron taunted.

"What?" Nicky guffawed looking at Adam with wide eyes.

Adam rolled his eyes. "Thanks Byron." Adam looked at Nicky before pressing his fingers into his eyes. "Uh yeah. Once in college. Long story short? I got drunk, me and this dude, whose name I am not giving you, started talking about Byron, wondered if kissing a guy is any different than kissing a girl and we tried it. It seemed like a good idea at the time."

"Holy shit," Nicky whispered. "Are you bi?"

"What? No! I just was...curious. Not even really that curious. It was more that I was drunk." Clearly uncomfortable Adam changed the subject back to Byron. "Anyway, we were trying to help Byron choose between two guys."

"What's going on?" Nicky asked. "What about Jeff?"

"I seriously don't want to discuss this."

"No way," Jordan said. "You can't just get drunk and talk, then sober up and decide you wish we didn't know. You've spent your whole life hiding your personal shit from us when the rest of us were so open with each other. You opened up last night and we're gonna keep talking about it. No more secrets!"

"Good point," Nicky pointed to Jordan. "Tell me what happened."

Byron rolled over and looked at the wall. "Nope."

Adam sighed. "Byron is afraid of his relationship with Jeff because Jeff is so fucked up and will probably hurt him in the future. So last night Stephen told Byron he loves him and now Byron doesn't know what to do. We tried to help by getting him drunk. But that only resulted in...well a hangover."

"You stay with Jeff," Nicky said simply.

Finally a real answer. Byron sat up quickly. A little too quickly and his head screamed in pain. "Why do you say that?" he asked clutching his head.

"Because you're Byron and he's Jeff. And I saw you two together a few months ago and you were happy."

"I'm happy when I'm with Stephen," Byron pointed out. "And he's much more stable."

Nicky shrugged. "I don't really know Stephen, I guess." Nicky began picking at the comforter. "Isn't the age thing weird though?"

Byron shrugged. "Not so much anymore. I mean sometimes he'll be talking about a TV show he watched when he was a kid and I'll have no idea what he means. But it's definitely been less weird since college."

"So what exactly did he say to you?"

Byron thought hard. "I don't really remember his exact words. Just that he's feels like he's been waiting for the age thing to even out. And he loves me and he's loved me for a long time and he wishes now that he hadn't waited so long to tell me."

"What about when you told him about Jeff?"

Byron was surprised. Nicky was taking this a lot more seriously than Adam and Jordan had. Byron sighed. "He wasn't happy, obviously. He's never met Jeff, but he knows about him. Stephen is not a Jeff fan. He didn't really say too much against Jeff...just kind of tried to convince me to stay in this area. With him."

"Did he kiss you?"

"Well, yeah."

"And?"

"And what?" Byron shifted uncomfortably and looked away.

Nicky sighed. "You kissed him back. I can tell by your face." Byron didn't say anything, but he blushed deeply.

"That's cheating." Jordan said shortly.

"It's not...it wasn't like that." Byron defended himself. "I did push him away."

"Eventually." Jordan added snidely.

"Did you sleep with him?" Nicky asked, his voice even.

"No!" Byron exclaimed. "Definitely not."

"God, I _hope _not," Jordan muttered.

"I actually _have _slept with him before, all right?" Byron said scathingly. "I just didn't last night and I haven't since Jeff and I got back together." Byron was a little sick of Jordan's double standard. Jordan who slept around like crazy in college, easily racking up a dozen different girls versus Byron who's had five lovers in his whole life.

Nicky interrupted. "When Jordan said 'Eventually,' how eventually? Like right away?"

"I'm not answering this."

"C'mon. No secrets." Adam said. "We won't judge you."

"Why do you want to know?"

"This is what sharing is, bro." Adam said. "You didn't want to do it, you shouldn't have brought it up last night. You know the Pike way is to talk something to death until every single member of the family knows what's up."

"I do _not _want this leaving this room," Byron said forcefully.

"Fine," Jordan said exasperatedly. Byron was sure he was going to tell Corrie everything anyway.

"Fine," agreed Nicky and Adam.

"I didn't push him away until his hands were down my pants." Byron admitted.

"Did he finish you off?" Nicky asked.

"Nicky! God." Jordan interjected. "We do _not _need to know this."

"It matters!" Nicky said.

"How could that _possibly_ matter?" Byron asked.

"Because you get points for pushing him away before you got off. Because that's harder to do. But if you waited until after you came, you lose points. Because it's easy to get your nut off and _then _feel badly and decide you aren't going to cheat."

"It was before."

"Good man," Nicky said.

"No." Jordan interrupted. "Not good man. That's still cheating."

"Yeah, but there're levels of cheating."

"No. I disagree. Cheating is cheating."

"No it's not. And you know it isn't," Nicky argued. "Byron got kissed by Stephen. That's not cheating. Byron kissed back, that's just starting to cheat. Byron let Stephen start jerking him off, which is a little more cheating, but _that_ was when he pushed Stephen away. It would have been so much worse if he'd slept with Stephen or let Stephen finish up the hand job."

"You're justifying cheating."

"No I'm not. I still think Byron cheated. I just think it's an easily forgivable cheat given the circumstances."

"We can agree to disagree on that one." Jordan said. "And anyway, Byron also kissed the bartender last night."

"Oh God." Byron put his head in his hands. "I'd totally forgotten that until right this second."

"You kissed the bartender?"

Byron shrugged. "It seemed like a good idea at the time," he said repeating Adam's earlier phrase. He took his hands out of his head and looked at Nicky. "I'd never kissed a girl before. So there she was and she was flirting with me. Amanda, I think."

"Wait...Amanda? Were you at the Stoney Lounge?"

"Yeah."

Nicky started laughing. "That's Amanda Delaney." Byron, Adam and Jordan looked at him blankly. "Karen Brewer's friend?" When the triplets still looked blank, Nicky shrugged. "I guess I knew her better because I was friends with David Michael, who went out with her long ago. God I can't believe you kissed her. She's a nutcase."

"I know," Byron said vehemently.

"You cheated twice in one night." Jordan said.

"It's not really like that," Byron tried to explain.

"You kinda did, Byron," Nicky said gently. "But it's nothing that can't be explained to Jeff, right?"

"If I decide to stay with Jeff," Byron pointed out. "I might not."

"Fine." Nicky agreed vaguely. He began picking at the comforter in earnest.

"What?" Byron asked. He knew Nicky had something else to say.

"Well. Do you remember what I told you? In New York that one night before Jeff got sick?"

Byron thought and couldn't remember anything specific.

"I told you that those who make us happiest are also those that can potentially hurt us the most."

"I don't get it," Jordan said.

"Does Corrie make you happy?" Nicky asked.

"Of course." Jordan answered.

"Well, if she left you or she cheated on you, you'd be devastated, right?"

"Absolutely."

"But you're not that close to Corrie's brother Sean. So lets say Sean decided he didn't like you anymore. Would you be devastated?"

"Not exactly devastated. Upset, sure."

"So..." Nicky said slowly. "As our level of happiness with someone increases, so does how hurt we'd become if they do something bad to us."

"What's your point?" Byron asked.

"You know you'd be over-the-moon happy with Jeff. And you have to decide if that happiness is worth being potentially hurt by all his demons. Or you could be medium-happy with Stephen and be comfortable with the fact that he's stable and will probably never hurt you."

"So what should I do?"

"No one can answer that but you. Talking to Jeff might be a good start though."

"What the fuck, Nicky?" Adam asked. "When did you become so smart?"

Nicky sighed. "You guys have never appreciated me."

Byron lay back down and pulled Nicky down next to him and rested his chin on Nicky's shoulder. "I have."

"Not you," Nicky smiled. He pointed to the other bed. "Those two have never really known me."

Jordan rolled his eyes. "Sorry about that Dr. Pike. Can you help us fix all our problems?"

"Sure thing. What seems to be troubling you?"

"Corrie's morning sickness." Jordan said immediately. "She didn't have it so bad with Aidan but she's got it terrible this time."

"It's normal. But she can talk to Maggie about it if she's worried."

Adam sighed. "Dr. Pike, I need a job," he said in a fake whiny voice.

"So go fucking apply for some and get out of mom and dad's house already. And for God's sake, stop kissing boys if you don't want people to think you're gay."

They started laughing. "Any others?"

"No that about covers all of our problems."

"No, I have another one." Byron said. "Mallory asked me to play a song at the wedding and I haven't bothered to learn it yet."

"Then get your ass out of bed, get your fucking guitar and go learn the song. Jesus. She's your _sister_ and you couldn't bother to do this one thing for her?"

Byron laughed. His head hurt less, just slightly. "You know Jordan, I think Corrie was right about the Pedialyte and Excedrin."

"Mm-hmm," Jordan said. "Never doubt my better half."


	10. Wedding

**Wedding**

Saturday came in a roar of gorgeous weather, making Mallory one very happy bride. Byron never told her that he waited until the last minute to learn the song she'd wanted him to sing, _Annie's Song_, but he listened to it, checked out the sheet music and had it memorized with a few hours of practicing on Friday. And played it perfectly at the rehearsal.

So on Saturday, he felt confident about that at least. What he didn't feel so confident about was the fact that he'd pretty much ignored all of Jeff's texts and phone calls all weekend. Finally on Friday night, Byron texted back, "sorry. Busy with wedding stuff. will call on Sunday. Love you."

To their credit, Nicky, Adam and Jordan didn't bring up Byron's little problem in front of anyone. In fact, they didn't even bring it up when they were alone. Which seemed to be often. Weddings did something to families. The women were all off doing about a million different things and the men were home watching TV until the women told them to be somewhere.

And finally, it was time to leave. Byron, Adam and Nicky all got dressed in their nicest suits - Adam's was brand new, bought while he waits for potential job interviews.

It seemed like forever, but finally the wedding started. Byron had to do a double-take as his sister, the bride, walked down the aisle. He'd been wrong, she was wearing cream, not white and Byron had never seen her look so radiant. Her normally curly hair was straight and sleek and piled on top of her head. She wasn't wearing her normal dark-framed glasses and her face seemed to be glowing. Byron's raised his eyebrows in surprise. He looked at Ben's face, smiling, nervous and clearly so in love with Mallory. Byron's heart leapt to see that love so obvious on his face.

When it was time for Byron to play, he walked to the side of the altar, where his guitar was hidden behind a pew and picked it up and went to the mic. He started playing, softly at first, unsure of how loud the mic would be, but quickly found the right volume. He started singing, "_You fill up my senses. Like a night in the forest. Like the mountains in springtime. Like a walk in the rain..."_ The whole time Byron had been practicing the song, he'd never really stopped to think of the lyrics. What the lyrics meant. But here, now at this wedding, joining two people in love, Byron thought about it. Particularly when he got to "_Come let me love you. Let me give my life to you. Let me drown in your laughter. Let me die in your arms. _

He thought about those lyrics hard. And by the time he was finished the song, he knew what he had to do. He knew his choice and it was so obvious, he couldn't believe he didn't realize it right away.

Nicky had said that those who make up happy are those who have the potential to hurt us the most. And Byron hadn't really understood that. He didn't realize that Nicky was saying that potential for hurt is _worth_ it if someone makes you truly happy. Byron had a deep connection with Jeff. He always had, since their Junior year in high school, hell maybe even before that when Jeff was ten and he decided he was better friends with Byron than he was with Adam and Jordan. The whole time they were tucking tags into the backs of each others shirts, finding excuses to touch hands, even if it was just for a microsecond, those were all ways that they were connecting and falling in love.

And these last ten years? Well, that was just a detour. A long painful detour, but probably a necessary one so that both Byron and Jeff could learn and could figure out on their own what they wanted. What they needed in a relationship and to learn to make their relationship work. Certainly Jeff had a long way to go still in his personal life. And while what Byron had said was true, that he can't unfuck Jeff up and that's something that Jeff will have to do on his own, Byron realized he could be there with Jeff while he works on it. And if you truly love someone, you should _want _to be there for him. You should _want_ to drown in their laughter, to die in their arms, as the song said.

And Byron did. He wanted to be there with Jeff.

Byron heard Mallory and Ben repeating their vows as he came to another realization. "In good times and in bad times. In sickness and in health." What those words meant, was suddenly super clear to him. He needed to be with Jeff through his bad times. He wanted Jeff with him through his own. If Jeff was sick, he wanted to be nurse-maid. If he, Byron, fell sick, there's no one he'd rather have as his nurse-maid than Jeff.

Of course, Byron realized also that he _would_ have been happy with Rex. He could live a very satisfying life being with someone who is a friend and lover. But the truth is that he never had the amazing connection with Rex that he'd had with Jeff. And even though it was a riskier venture, Jeff needed him and he needed Jeff.

On the way to the reception, Adam, Byron and Nicky squeezed on the third row seat of Corrie's minivan, with Maggie in one of the second row seats, one year old Aidan in the other flinging Cheerios on the floor.

Byron had his phone out, writing a careful text to Jeff. Obviously he couldn't say what he needed to say in a text. Hell, he didn't even think he could do it over the phone. So thinking hard, he wrote "Wedding was nice. I had an epiphany today. Important. Too much to explain over the phone or by text. I'll email you when I get in Sunday. Love you." He read and re-read it about ten times before hitting send.

"Who're you texting?" Adam asked.

"Jeff," Byron murmured, hoping no one else would hear.

Corrie evidently had some kind of magical hearing because she turned around. "Oh! Are you choosing Jeff?"

Byron looked at Jordan, who was driving. Jordan glanced at Byron in the rear-view mirror and smirked. "I thought anything we said didn't leave the room." Byron said.

"Sorry," Jordan shrugged not sounding sorry at all. "She's my wife. I tell her everything."

Byron was going to argue, but then he realized one of the first things he was going to do after his big talk with Jeff (assuming Jeff forgives him) is tell Jeff that Adam kissed a guy once. So yeah, Byron kind of understood telling others' secrets to your significant other.

Before anyone could say anything else, Byron's phone beeped. He smiled as he read Jeff's text. "Glad all is well. Epiphany? And your making me wait until an email Sunday? Love you, miss you!"

"What'd he say?" Adam asked.

"Nothing." Byron said haughtily.

"Are we back to secretive Byron?" Nicky asked warily.

"Jesus. When did you all get so interested in my personal life?"

Nicky turned to him. "We've always been interested in your personal life. You just never shared anything before. This weekend was big for you, By. You shared a lot."

"Don't call me By." Byron was smiling. He looked out the window and thought about his identical brothers. He really felt closer to them than he has in years, maybe even ever. All those times in high school when Jordan would talk openly in their bedroom about Hannah Lee Evans. Or in college when he'd brag about various conquests only to admit quietly that he wanted to settle down. Or when Adam lost his virginity to Haley Braddock and came home to their bedroom, told his brothers about it, then admitted he didn't really feel ready to have had sex. All of those times, Byron would listen, would counsel, but would never ever contribute anything about his own life. And when Jeff broke up with him in college, Byron staunchly shut Adam and Jordan out preferring to grieve on his own, thinking they couldn't possibly understand, even though they were begging to be let in, to be a part of his life.

Byron was just now realizing what a blessing it was to have three brothers like Jordan, Adam and Nicky. That he could tell them really personal things and even if they couldn't understand, they were beyond the point of judging him. Byron knew that Jordan thinks he cheated on Jeff this weekend. But the brotherly bond went beyond all that.

The reception was fun. A lot of dancing, a lot of drinking, really good food. Byron kept his drink total to only two glasses of white wine.

But he felt like he'd been ignoring his sisters all weekend, and so he took a turn dancing with each of them in turn. When he danced with Mallory, she smiled widely at him.

"Thanks for playing at the wedding," she said hugging him close.

"Happy to do it. You chose a good song."

"I thought you'd like it," she said.

"Why's that?"

Mallory laughed. "Don't you realize it's by John Denver?" Byron looked at her blankly, yeah, he knew it but so what? Mallory rolled her eyes and continued. "It was a John Denver song, Rocky Mountain High, that forced you to come out to Jordan. Remember?"

Byron widened his eyes. God she was right. "Is that why you chose it?"

Mal shrugged. "One of the reasons," she had a little twinkle in her eye.

Despite the band playing, Byron dipped Mallory and sang softly, "_He was born in the summer of his twenty-seventh year."_ Mallory howled with laughter.

Ben cut in on him, "What are you doing to my wife?" he asked happily.

"Wife!" Mallory exclaimed. "I'm a wife."

Byron handed her off to Ben. "She was my sister first," he reminded Ben. He smiled as he watched them dance away.

Byron went back to the table and sat next to Jordan, who was holding Aidan in his lap and Corrie was looking ill. She stood up, "I think I'm going to be sick."

Maggie stood up, "I think I'll go with her." Maggie was clearly feeling for Corrie.

"Where's Adam?" Byron asked looking around.

"Off with a bridesmaid," Jordan smiled knowingly. Aidan was standing in Jordan's lap grabbing Jordan's hair and blowing raspberries right in his face. Byron had no idea how Jordan could ignore that and concentrate on anything else.

"Really?" Byron looked around. He saw Trina with her husband. He saw Betsy talking with his mother. "But there are Trina and Betsy."

Nicky laughed. "He's off with Jessi Ramsey."

"No kidding?"

Jordan shook his head. "We're in our late twenties guys. Time to settle down."

"Not me," Nicky said. "I'm still technically in my mid-twenties. And I'm living with someone."

"I'm going to settle down." Byron announced.

Jordan and Nicky looked at him with mild interest. "With?"

"Jeff," Byron said nodding. "If he'll have me after I finish telling him about this weekend."

"He will," Nicky assured him. He stood up and gave Byron a noogie. "For what it's worth, I think you made the right choice."

Byron grabbed his hand. "Thanks," he said softly. He hoped Nicky knew what he meant. Not just thanks for thinking he made the right choice, but thanks for living with him and putting up with him and being a really good brother despite the way he, Adam and Jordan may have treated him as kids.

"Who knows?" Nicky said to Jordan. "Maybe Jessi'll turn out to be the one for Adam. And we can repeat this whole wedding thing in a couple years." Nicky's face turned serious and he looked at Byron. "You can't have this."

"What?" Byron asked.

"A wedding."

"I know." Byron said quietly.

"That really sucks." Nicky turned vehement.

Byron looked up at him. "Maybe I'll move to a state where I can. Don't worry, Nick. I'm not even thinking about it right now. Maybe I'll turn militant about it when I get older."

Nicky patted Byron's shoulder. It appeared that he was going to walk away, but he sat down suddenly and lowered his voice. "Guys. Can you _believe_ Adam kissed a guy once?"


	11. Email Confession

**To: Jeff Schafer**

**From: Byron Pike**

**Subject: My epiphany this weekend.**

Jeff,

There is so much to tell you. And I say things better in writing than I do in person. Words just come out better somehow when I'm writing. So that's why I'm writing to tell you about what happened this weekend. It's not because I'm trying to avoid any kind of confrontation. Because if you want to talk about it, please call me as soon as you're done reading.

When I got in on Thursday, I called Rex. I had to go see him, because he would have been offended if he knew I was in town all weekend and didn't take time to see him. I knew I needed to tell him that I was back together with you. Why hadn't I told him already? Well, mostly because I'd spent the last ten years still smarting from being hurt by you, and it was something I'd talked to Rex about. So I knew he didn't like you and I knew he might be disapproving. So there's one thing I want to mention: that we've been back together for four months and I failed to tell the man who is basically one of my best friends about it.

I knew Rex would take it badly, but I didn't realize how badly. Before I told him about us, he asked me to be with him. He, I don't know...professed his love for me. And what I'm about to tell you is a big admission and mostly the reason why I needed to do this in writing and not in person. I didn't know what to do. I knew I loved you, but I want you to know that I remain terrified of your personal demons. That those demons could haunt our relationship forever, that you might start drinking again, that you might not be through sleeping around. And so, when I had a couple glasses of wine in me and Rex told me that he loved me and he kissed me, I want to admit to you that I didn't push him away. Not right away. I kissed him back. And I felt like I had two voices in my head. One telling me that I love YOU, and the other telling me that you aren't worth it and I could be just as happy with Rex.

Things progressed just a little beyond kissing, when I finally pushed him away. Even though I still didn't know what to do, I wasn't willing to go any further with Rex knowing that I was still with you, and that I'd made a commitment to you and more importantly that you'd made a commitment to me. So I told Rex I'd think about what he said, and I got the hell out of there.

I was rescued by Jordan and Adam. Adam is now officially out of the Peace Corps, is broke and jobless and living at home. Jordan just found out that Corrie's expecting again. So we went out for some much needed triplet bonding time. We went to the Stoney Lounge, where I drank, well I don't know the exact number, but I drank scotch on the rocks and a lot of it. A female bartender was flirting with me. I tried to deflect the flirting to Adam, who thought she was hot, but it didn't work. She said she liked me better because I was drinking scotch.

Anyway, during a long drunken conversation, Jordan found out that I'd never kissed a girl, and that made him a little sad for me for whatever reason. (And yes, I did point out that he'd never kissed a guy). I don't know what I was thinking, but I'm sure you can understand the stupid idiotic things we do when we've been drinking. I kissed the bartender. Even drunk, I didn't really care for kissing a girl. But-as Jordan would much later point out to me- kissing is cheating and so I am confessing that to you here. While I was in Stoneybrook this weekend, I kissed Rex, I let him get as far as putting his hands down my pants and I stupidly kissed a female bartender.

The next day, hungover and regretful, I had yet another long talk with Adam and Jordan, though by now Nicky was in town and joined us. Jordan pointed out that I cheated, Nicky believes in "levels" of cheating and thought I was OK. Nicky gave me some advice and he was, no surprise here, far more helpful than either Adam or Jordan.

Still, I spent the rest of that day and all morning Saturday not knowing what I should do. Something Nicky said really stuck with me. He said that people who make us the happiest also have the potential to hurt us the most. I'd probably be much happier with you, but that it would come with a greater risk of being hurt in the future. With Rex, I could probably be somewhat happy, not as happy as you make me, but I'd always feel safe and secure. So, Nicky pointed out, I had a choice in what I wanted to go for.

When I was at the wedding on Saturday, I was playing this song for Mallory and Ben. It's called _Annie's Song_ and it's by John Denver. They lyrics lean toward the cheesy romantic type, but there were a few lines in there that just really hit me in the gut when I thought about them. _Come let me hold you. Let me give my life to you. Let me drown in your laughter. Let me die in your arms._ And it hit me. Those are the things I want with YOU. Not with Rex. Not with anyone else, not ever.

I want to be with you. It's so clear to me and it's such an aching clarity that I'm having a hard time believing there was ever really any doubt.

The first line of the song is _"You fill up my senses."_ Jeff, that is exactly what you are to me. When I'm with you, you are sight, sound, taste, smell and feel. You are part of me, and you have been since we were ten years old. These last ten years are forgettable, something I can completely throw away because you weren't there with me. And if I'm throwing away my last ten years, I can damn sure throw away your last ten years.

So that's what I wanted to write to you. I needed to tell you that I kissed two people this weekend. That I'm so sorry that I did it. But that my sight for the future is pristine and it includes me being with you. I hope you forgive me. Because I love you.

Love,

By.

**To Byron Pike:**

**From: Jeff Schafer**

**Subject: Re: My epiphany this weekend. **

By-

I got your email. Thank you for telling me.

Can I take a few days to process all this?

Love,

Jeff

**To: Jeff Schafer**

**From: Byron Pike**

**Subject: Re: My epiphany this weekend.**

Jeff

Take all the time you need.

Love,

Byron.


	12. Surprise

**Surprise**

Byron sat in his chair, tapping his red pen against a stack of papers. Being out of school on Thursday and Friday meant his classes had a substitute. He left the substitute some random book work for his general music class to do and now he had to sit here and grade it. One of the best parts of teaching music as opposed to English or Math is that there were far fewer papers to grade.

Not that he was having much luck concentrating on the papers. It was now Tuesday. He'd been back to work for two days and had been unable to concentrate on anything. He'd sent Jeff that email on Sunday, and Jeff had responded within an hour. Since then, he'd heard nothing from Jeff. No texts, no phone calls, no emails. Byron sighed and picked up his phone again, checking for what felt like the millionth time to see if he had any missed calls or texts. There were none, of course.

Byron put the red pen down and leaned back on the couch, rubbing his face in his hands. He was hungry, but didn't feel like eating. He was tired but didn't feel like sleeping. What he needed to do was to get those papers graded. It was a school policy to not let papers go ungraded for longer than three days. It was flexible, of course, but he wasn't exactly an English teacher dealing with a stack of ten page research papers. This was a stack of multiple choice and short answer worksheets taken from the back of a general music book - an elementary one at that.

Finally, Byron got up and went to the kitchen. He put a pot of water on to boil and took out a box of pasta. He shook his head to see that it was whole-wheat. What kind of effect had Jeff _had_ on him? While waiting for the water to boil, Byron got down to the business of actually grading papers. It wasn't so bad once he got started. There was a rhythm to it. C,C,D,B,C,A,C,B,A,D. A Capella, adagio, stacatto, soprano, tenor, alto, string, woodwind, brass, percussion. Those were the answers and they became a chant as he marked the wrong answers (there were so few, way too easy for Junior High kids).

The water boiled and Byron got up to dump the pasta in along with few pieces of frozen broccoli. He was chanting C,C,D,B,C,A,C,B,A,D under his breath while he did it, and went back to grading the papers. He wondered why he put this off so long, it was nice to have something else to concentrate on that wasn't Jeff. He made quick order of most of the rest of the papers before going to the kitchen to drain the noodles and broccoli. He grabbed a rotisserie chicken he'd bought yesterday and pulled some chunks of meat off it, added it to the pot and added some Italian salad dressing. There, a nice makeshift dinner. Byron continued to chant the multiple choice answers while finishing making it.

Byron plopped on the couch and turned on his new DVD player. It was already loaded with one of the Doctor Who discs that Jeff had bought for him in California. Byron had promised he'd go get a DVD player. Byron settled in and began eating his dinner, engrossed in the television show he'd already seen several times.

About twenty minutes in to the show, there was a knock on the door. Byron sighed, paused the DVD and got up. He looked through the peep hole.

No. It couldn't be.

He opened the door.

"Hi By." Jeff said.

Byron stood rooted to the spot for what felt like hours. But it must have only been seconds. "What...what are you doing here?"

"I had to see you." Jeff said. When Byron didn't answer right away, but stood there with his eyes wide with shock, Jeff added. "Can I come in?"

Byron shook himself. "God, yes. Of course."

Jeff walked in and Byron closed and latched the door behind him. "What are you doing here?" Byron asked again.

Jeff dropped his suitcase and took one large step toward Byron, grabbed his face in his hands and kissed him hard on the mouth. Byron wrapped his arms around Jeff's waist and pulled him close, returning the kiss with gusto. Jeff moved his arms around Byron's neck and grabbed him by the back of the hair, pulling his face in as far toward his own as it could go.

Byron began backing up, through the living room to the other side of the apartment where the bed was against the wall. The whole time, Jeff following him, their lips still attached.

When they got to the bed Jeff pulled back from the kiss and turned Byron around. Jeff pushed on Byron's shoulders until Byron was bent over the bed, resting on his elbows. This position, this subservient position that Byron normally put Jeff in, was exciting to Byron. And he became even more excited as Jeff reached around and began undoing Byron's pants.

Byron was still, allowing Jeff to do whatever he wanted. Jeff had gotten Byron's pants and boxer shorts around his ankles and began massaging Byron's bare buttocks. "Let me tell you something Byron Pike," Jeff whispered.

"Yeah?" Byron whispered back. He bit his lip in pleasure and pain as Jeff smacked him across the butt.

"I will never," (smack), "ever," (smack), "hurt you" (smack) "like I did in college." (smack.) Jeff quickly removed his own pants and leaned against Byron, whispering in to his ear, "I love you."

"I love you too," Byron insisted, trying to push his hips against Jeff's erection. He was unsuccessful, as Jeff quickly put his hands between himself and Byron continuing his rough kneading of Byron's buttocks. Jeff sneaked a fingertip into Byron's tight hole, causing Byron to gasp. Jeff began slowly moving his finger in and out.

"Where's your lube?" he asked Byron.

"Bathroom." Byron groaned. "Medicine cabinet."

"Don't move." Jeff ordered and ran to the bathroom. He was back in seconds, rubbing the index and middle fingers of his right hand, warming up the lube already spread on them. He got back to Byron. "Bend over more," he demanded.

Byron, who had been propped up on his elbows, dropped his arms so his chest hit the bed. He wasn't accustomed to being on bottom, so when Jeff inserted his fingers, Byron cringed and clamped up. "Relax, babe," Jeff whispered. "I love you, relax."

Byron took a deep breath and tried to relax his body. All the tension he felt, he concentrated on to his hands, which were clenching his comforter so hard his knuckles had gone white. God, this was agony. Why did Jeff let him do it? Then, without warning, Jeff shifted his fingers around and they hit that spot. The spot that nearly made Byron come even though his dick was untouched. "God!" He called out, stars appearing before his eyes. Jeff could have stroked that spot just once or twice more and Byron would have been done for. Instead he removed his fingers, slid a condom on and lubed up his cock.

"Relax." He instructed again. Byron relaxed easily this time, eager for Jeff to find that spot again. But when Jeff started to enter, Byron instinctively tightened up again. "You're so tight," Jeff whispered. "When's the last time anyone fucked you?"

"Um.." Byron thought hard. He'd always preferred being on top, doing the fucking and rarely had anyone asked anything else of him. "It's been a few years," he admitted.

"I'll go slow," Jeff promised. "I won't hurt you." Just hearing Jeff say that, hearing Jeff's promise and knowing he could believe it, relaxed Byron. "That's good," Jeff said encouragingly, slipping a little further into Byron. He slowly began thrusting, going little by little and adding more lube when necessary.

Finally when he was in nearly as deep as he could go, he leaned forward, reached around and grabbed Byron's cock in his right hand. He worked up a rhythm with his hand, and as Byron began bucking against Jeff's hand, Jeff was thrusting deeper and harder into Byron's ass. "I love you," he grunted into Byron's ear.

"I love you too," Byron panted, "Oh! I'm coming! I'm coming. God!" Byron came hard, spilling all over his comforter. When Byron came, he instinctively tightened up causing Jeff to moan in pleasure, thrust once more until he was balls deep into his lover and came just seconds later.

Jeff pulled out and leaned against Byron, who was still wearing a shirt, pants around his ankles and bent over his bed. Jeff kissed the back of Byron's neck, biting a little bit and causing Byron to whimper.

"What are you doing here?" Byron asked.

"I had to see you," Jeff murmured, burying his face in the back of Byron's hair and breathing deeply.

"Let's lay down," Byron suggested. Jeff stood up, moving off Byron's back. Byron took his shirt off and kicked his pants the rest of the way off before crawling under the covers.

Jeff removed his own shirt, slid off the condom, and lay down next to Byron and began speaking. "I very briefly dated this guy several years ago, who insisted I preferred being on bottom because of daddy-issues. He really tried to psychoanalyze me. He thought that me always wanting to be the one getting fucked was to make up for the fact that my dad wasn't around to discipline me as a teenager and because he kind of removed himself from my life when I came out. Who knows, I think he was a smart guy, and he's probably right on some level."

"Mm-hmm," Byron said non-commitally, unsure where Jeff was going with this.

"I don't know what my point is, By." Jeff said. "Maybe just that with you I feel more in control of my life and I wanted to show that to you by coming here. Three years ago, if this had happened I would have gone on an extreme alcoholic bender. But this is me now. I'm in control and I thought about everything from your point of view."

"I'm sorry," Byron said. "For this weekend."

"Obviously I forgive you." Jeff answered smiling.

Byron smiled back. "I'm glad. I was so worried when I didn't hear from you since Sunday night."

"I wanted to look you in the eyes when I told you I love you."

"You weren't looking me in the eyes," Byron pointed out. "You were behind me."

Jeff propped up on his elbow laughing. "I love you," he said looking Byron square in the eye.

"I love you too," Byron whispered pulling Jeff in for a kiss. When they pulled back, Byron asked, "How long are you here?"

"Thursday."

Byron bit his lip. "I can't take off work tomorrow. I missed two days last week."

"It's OK. We'll still have the evening."

Byron and Jeff lay in each others' arms comfortably, taking amiably when Jeff suddenly said, "Oh! I have something for you!" He stood up and went to his suitcase, rooting through it. He came back with a set of papers and handed it to Byron. "Here."

Byron looked at it. "What the hell is this?"

"I was at Dawn's house and I found it. It's the alumni newsletter from Dawn's high school, Vista. It's where I went before I came back to Stoneybrook."

"Why're you giving it to me?"

"Look at page three."

Byron flipped to page three. "School lunches to be revamped," he read.

"Not _that_ article," Jeff said impatiently. "The one on the bottom."

Byron looked and his eyes widened with surprise. "Etta Taylor to Retire After Thirty Years of Service." Byron looked up and smiled, but kept reading. "Etta Taylor, longtime music teacher at Vista, announced that this will be her last year teaching. She plans on moving to Arizona with her husband, who retired two years ago. Mrs. Taylor has been well-known to students for the last thirty years as the band and choral teacher." Byron paused. "There's more, but that's the gist. You wanted to let me know there's a music teacher opening at this school?"

Jeff nodded. "But that's not all," he said. And he produced another set of papers from his suitcase and handed them to Byron.

Byron glanced through them. "Job postings for chef positions in New York?" he asked.

Jeff nodded. "You don't _have_ to move to California with me. I just want to be with you. I can move to New York. I just brought these things to show that I don't care where we live."

"God," Byron whispered. "Come here," he patted the bed next to him and Jeff lay down with him. "I want to move to California. There's nothing keeping me here. You can't surf in New York though."

Jeff laughed. "Are you sure?"

Byron nodded. "As long as we can fly back frequently to visit the family."

"Of course we can." They kissed on that. "Mmm..." Jeff mumbled. "I'm hungry."

Byron laughed. "What do you want?"

"Chocolate," Jeff admitted. "I want dessert."

"We can do that." Instead of getting up, Byron and Jeff lay there kissing and touching quietly. "Can we do this first?" Byron whispered.

Jeff reached his hands between Byron's legs and began stroking. "Yeah, let's do this first."

The rest of Jeff's visit flew by. Byron had to get up early to go to work on Wednesday, but he left instructions for Jeff on how to get to the school. Jeff met him at lunchtime and the two went out to lunch together. That evening, Jeff had cooked for Byron, making enough for several days of leftovers.

"You're spoiling me with this food," Byron said happily as they sat at the small kitchen table eating.

"No such thing," Jeff waved him away. "Good food is good for the soul."

Byron smiled. He didn't say anything for a few moments, before becoming serious again. "Should we talk?"

"About what?" Jeff said lightly.

"About..." Byron drifted off. "About what I did last weekend."

"Nope. I already know what you did last weekend."

"I know. But we haven't really discussed it."

"What's to discuss? I forgive you, obviously."

"Right. And thanks for that. But are you mad?"

"Well, I'm not _happy_. But I get it. You were confused. Then you had an epiphany and now you're not confused. Right? You're not confused anymore?"

"No. I'm not."

Jeff nodded. "Good."

"God, I love you."

"I love you too. Now let's talk about something else. "

"All right. Adam kissed a guy once."

Jeff nodded. "I know. He told me. That lacrosse player who lived in the quad with you three Sophomore year."

Byron sat up straighter. "He kissed Rob Stagmore?"

Jeff raised his eyebrows. "I thought he told you."

"He wouldn't tell me who."

"What's the big deal?"

"I had a huge fucking crush on Rob Stagmore before I met Omer. That's what the big deal is. If Rob Stagmore had been so eager to kiss a guy, I would have done it!"

Jeff rolled his eyes. "I don't think this Rob Stagmore was so eager to go around kissing guys. I think those two were really drunk and did something they totally regretted later."

"God. Rob fucking Stagmore. Wait'll I talk to Adam about this."

"What?"

"If I'd been so keen on kissing girls, I wouldn't have chosen one that I knew Adam liked!"

"By," Jeff was laughing now. "It was so long ago. And clearly you had no chance with this Rob guy."

Byron shook his head. "Of all the guys I was thinking it could have been, Rob Stagmore was not even on the list."

"Who'd you think he'd kissed?"

"Actually, I kind of thought it might be Shea Rodowsky."

Jeff was silent for a minute. "Yeah, I could totally see that."

"I know, right?" Byron shook his head again. "God. Rob Stagmore," he mumbled.

Thursday morning, Jeff and Byron left at the same time. Jeff grabbed a cab to the airport and Byron ran to the subway station to get to school. Before they left, they stood next to the front door of Byron's apartment kissing.

"I'll come to California during winter break," Byron promised.

"I promised Richard I'd come to Stoneybrook for Thanksgiving." Jeff said.

"Then I'll come out to you again during spring break."

"And I'll find a long weekend somewhere in there to come to New York, OK? We can make this work."

"And no more confusion," Byron promised.

"I trust you." Jeff said.

"Thank you," Byron leaned in for one last kiss.

During lunch, instead of sitting in the cafeteria with the other teachers, Byron sat in his office. It was almost laughable to call that tiny space situated off the music room an office, but it was all he had. He took the Vista Alumni magazine out of his bag and scanned it over. Staring at the cover, Byron picked up the phone and started dialing.

"Vista High School," a chipper secretary answered.

"Hello," Byron began. "I'd like to speak with Principal Hodges, please."

"Your name?"

"My name is Byron Pike. I'm calling because I am interested in the music teacher position which I understand will be open next school year."


	13. One year later

**One year later. **

"God, I'm nervous," Byron admitted, straightening his tie. He was studying himself carefully in the full length mirror on the back of his and Jeff's bedroom door.

"You'll be fine," Jeff assured him. "You probably don't even need the tie."

"Are you kidding? New school. New school year. I need to wear a tie until I get a feel for the other teachers." Byron had already met the other teachers, of course, in the last several days as he was getting his music room ready for the new school year. But this would be the first time he met them doing his 'real' job.

"It's not east coast uppity like your other school, By. Vista is much more casual. It's _progressive._"

"Obviously. But I'm still wearing a tie. Gotta command the students' respect, you know?" Byron looked in the mirror fooling with his newly short hair. He turned to Jeff. "Do I look too gay?"

"Too _gay?_ By, you _are _gay. Remember?"

Byron shrugged. "It's enough to be the new teacher. I don't want everyone wondering if I'm gay too."

"You don't look gay," Jeff assured him. He cocked his head. "You do look like Jordan with the short hair though."

Byron rolled his eyes, "We're _identical_," he said witheringly. He squinched up his face and studied his reflection. "Is there too much pink in the tie?"

Jeff rolled his eyes. "There is not too much pink in the tie. There're like two pink stripes. You can barely tell there's any pink in it at all. Anyway, the principal knows you're gay."

"I know she does," Byron murmured. It was true. Part of what made Vista so progressive was their policy of allowing gay partners to be included on an employee's health benefits. When Byron had interviewed during spring break the year prior, she had mentioned that and Byron said openly that his partner might be interested. (And Jeff was - the restaurant offered terrible benefits). "But everybody doesn't need to know. I like for people to get to know _me_ first, before they find out I'm gay."

Jeff turned Byron around. "You will be fine," he stressed each word.

"It's just so much change in such a short time."

And that was true. Byron left New York in early July. Jeff had flown in the prior day and on moving day, they worked on filling a U-haul van with Byron's meager possessions. Obviously, Byron didn't need to bring any furniture. Even a lot of his personal items didn't need to come along. He donated most of his kitchen items and furniture to the Salvation Army. So he was mostly only bringing clothes, books, musical instruments, and other random personal tidbits. Still, it made for a hot sweaty day of moving in mid-summer in New York.

It took several days to make it across country. Byron didn't have a drivers' license, from years of living in the city, so it was up to Jeff to do all the driving. Byron had offered to get his license, but the cost of insuring himself for only a few weeks in New York, then to turn around and pay a transfer fee in California made it ridiculous.

So they'd made a trip of it. Taking detours, trying to go off highway to find interesting places to eat, interesting things to see. Jeff remembered driving cross country with his sister and her friends in an RV one summer. He insisted that this trip was much better.

Nights were spent mostly in chain hotels not unlike the one where they first reconnected at the reunion one year earlier. Each night they'd lie in bed, watching television, planning for the next day's trip and making love. They planned to try to have sex in every state they crossed through. They were mostly successful, only missing out on West Virginia, where they passed only through the northern panhandle, and Kansas, which they were only in for the handful of miles that historic Route 66 crosses through. The idea of finding a back road and making love in the van was discussed, but the fact was that there are some states where two men do _not_ want to be caught having sex in public. And West Virginia and Kansas may be at the top of that list.

All in all, it took ten days to get from New York to Anaheim, where Jeff had signed a lease on a new apartment. Anaheim was a better choice for its location between the restaurant for Jeff and Vista for Byron.

"I'm not going to get another day off work until Thanksgiving," Jeff said to Byron one night at a Holiday Inn in Arizona. He was lying face up on the bed. Their trip was nearing its end.

"I'm sorry," Byron said laying down right on top of Jeff and pushing his hips into Jeff's. "I could have shipped my stuff out and flown."

"Are you kidding? I wouldn't give this up." Jeff pulled Byron in for a kiss. "This is worth all the overtime I'm going to have to put in."

And Jeff wasn't kidding about overtime. Once they got to Anaheim and Jeff returned to work, Byron rarely saw him. There were days when Jeff would go in at nine in the morning and not get home until midnight. And always, he attempted to make at least one AA meeting a week. He was tired, he was worn out, but he insisted he'd never been happier.

He managed to take a few hours off in the beginning to take Byron to the DMV to get his license and then they spent one afternoon shopping for a used car for Byron. "People can't rely on public transportation around here," Jeff had said. "You have to have a car." And so Byron became the proud owner of a five year old Honda Civic with 60,000 miles.

Byron used his newfound free time to explore his new home. For the most part, he liked what he found. Being home until the start of school at the end of August gave him a lot of down time. He went shopping, kept the apartment clean, made dinner every night - though whether Jeff would be home to eat with him was always a crapshoot.

When Byron had been in California for two weeks, his parents came out to visit him for a few days. Dee's attitude toward Jeff had softened considerably in the last year. Byron couldn't be certain, but he was pretty sure Adam had talked with her, explained a few things. He'd never asked, because he was afraid he'd be too embarrassed by what his mother might know about him now - namely what he'd spent the weekend of Mallory's wedding doing.

As for the rest of his family, they fell right back into the pattern of accepting Jeff as one of their own. Jordan and Corrie's son Aidan learned to call him Uncle Jeff and no doubt their new daughter Caitlin would do the same, as would the baby that Mallory had just found out she's expecting. Adam got a job at an engineering firm in Stamford, but lately had been calling Byron and Jeff asking them to look up different firms in Southern California. His years in the Peace Corps left him impatient with the east coast and looking forward to getting away. This was all, of course, to be kept a secret from Jordan who'd always taken Byron's distance from the triplet way of life the hardest.

The arrangement of Byron and Jeff living together quickly fell into a pattern of comfortable domesticity. They were still crazy in love, of course, but their days were spent on day to day tasks, like working, cleaning, shopping, paying bills and the like. But together, they seemed to mind it less. And even though it wasn't an exciting life, both were certainly happier than they'd been in a very long time.

Richard and Mary Anne made no secret about being thrilled with the new arrangement. Mary Anne teared up when Jeff told her about Byron moving in. "I always knew you guys were meant to be together," she said in a choked voice. "I feel like I can stop worrying about you," Richard had said with a relieved sigh.

As for Carol and Jack Schafer? Things still weren't going so well in that area. Jeff hadn't talked to them since he moved to the new apartment until one mid-August day when his dad called and said that they were cleaning some things out of the house and asked if he could throw Jeff's old comic book collection.

"No!" Jeff had said adamantly. "I want them." Unfortunately, Jeff had no time to pick them up, so Byron volunteered to go.

"You don't have to," Jeff said.

"I want to," Byron insisted. In him mind, he was hoping he could be charming and win Carol over, fixing Jeff's relationship forevermore. What happened though, is that Byron got nervous, rang the doorbell and introduced himself quietly, sounding a lot gayer than he intended. Carol left Byron standing on the front stoop while she started grabbing boxes. Byron sighed and turned to open the trunk of his new car. He took the boxes from Carol as she brought them out of the house. "Thanks," he said in a friendly (and one octave deeper) voice.

"We'll call Jeff if we need him to take anything else," was all she said before turning and walking in to the house.

Finally, they got to Byron's first day of school. Jeff had the morning off and had skipped his early morning surf to be with Byron while he showered and ate and fretted over his choice of tie.

"You'll be fine," Jeff stressed for the third time turning Byron away from the mirror and kissing him hard on the lips. Byron kissed back in a needy manner. Jeff pulled back and squeezed Byron's hand. Byron couldn't help it, he turned back to the mirror and started fiddling with his tie again.

Jeff put his hand over Byron's. "By. Stop. The tie is fine."

Byron turned his hand and grabbed on to Jeff's. "I love you," he said seriously.

"Let's get married," Jeff said.

"What?" Byron said, laughing slightly and staring wide-eyed at the reflection of Jeff's eyes in the mirror.

"Let's get married," Jeff repeated.

"We can't. It's not legal here."

Jeff shrugged. "Let's have an unofficial ceremony. We can do the ceremony and everything without the paperwork. It won't be a legal ceremony, but it'll be for us."

Byron bit his lip. "What brought this on?"

Jeff put his arms around Byron's shoulders and hugged him from behind. "I've been thinking about it since you told me about how Carol treated you a few weeks ago. I hate that she did that. If you were a woman, she'd have invited you in for tea or something. Even if she didn't really like you, she'd have done it out of social politeness. And this pisses me off. Because I love you and I will love you forever. So, let's do something to show everyone how serious we are."

"When would you want to do this?" Byron asked.

"Whenever you want."

Byron paused for a few moments. "How about when we're in Stoneybrook for Thanksgiving?"

"Really?" Jeff's face broke into a smile. "You want to do it?"

"Absolutely," Byron said. "The Saturday after Thanksgiving." He turned around and faced Jeff.

The two men kissed, pressing their bodies together, before Byron broke off. "I have to go. I can't be late my first day."

"Good luck."

"I'll call you at the restaurant when I get home," Byron promised, leaning in for another kiss.

Byron smiled wryly as he drove away. I wasn't the most romantic marriage proposal, that was for sure. But it was _so_ him and Jeff. God. Married. He was going to be _married_. Not officially, but it would be official in the most important way. It would be official to them, and to their families.

Byron pulled into the school and sat in his car for a moment, nervously wiping his sweaty palms on his pants, then regretting it immediately. He needed to look nice, presentable, for this day.

He had hundreds of students. Far more than he had at his old school. Music was a popular choice at Vista for a fine arts credit. So he ended up with two periods of general music, one period of band which had fifty five students, one period of chorus which had twenty eight students, one period of jazz band with ten students, and one period of guitar and piano, which had eight students. He would never remember all of these names.

Except that he would. And it would only take Byron a week to learn all the names. The student's enthusiasm was infectious. This was so much different than his school in New York, and Byron's chest ached for Alex, who really belonged in a place like this.

Byron was a popular teacher. Popular among the students and popular among the other teachers, who warmed up to the shy man faster than he would have expected. One day in October, Principal Hodges approached Byron, telling him that one student had inquired about starting a GSA, a Gay-Straight Alliance Club, and they needed a faculty advisor. She wondered if Byron would be interested.

"I don't know," Byron hesitated. "I'm not really out to most people," he explained, somewhat apologetically.

Principal Hodges nodded. She was a very no-nonsense woman, always in neutral colored or black pants suits. Despite her serious demeanor, the students found her very approachable.

"Will you think about it?"

"I will," Byron promised. He hesitated again. "Will there be..." he trailed off, trying to think of the right word. "Opposition?" He finally finished. "From parents and students?"

Principal Hodges smiled kindly at him. "Maybe a little. But Vista prides itself on being progressive, and most parents send their kids to school here for that very reason. So these kids tend to come from more progressive homes, where they're more likely to be open to the idea. You'll probably only get one or two gay kids in the club and about twenty or thirty straight kids trying to prove how gay-friendly they are.."

"Are you only asking me because I'm gay?"

She laughed. "A little bit," she admitted. "But it's also because we've gotten a lot of positive feedback on you from the students. We like to encourage teachers to get involved in club activity. I, myself, am the coach of the chess team." She looked proud, and Byron knew that the chess team had won some big championship the year before.

Byron was still nervous. He'd never been out to his colleagues at his old school. But the fact was that he was now at a more progressive school, coupled with the fact that he was going to come back from Thanksgiving break wearing a wedding band, which he _might_ be asked to explain, made him feel bold.

"I'll do it," he said suddenly.

"Really?" Principal Hodges asked. She seemed surprised at his fast response. "That's great. I'll have the student who inquired, Sam Decatur come talk to you. There are some forms you and he will have to fill out to get approved for a new club. But there's no reason we can't start this club come January."

"Wow. Um." Byron was at a loss of what to say. He'd never been a faculty advisor for any club at his old school. He didn't really know what to do, and so he admitted that to the Principal. "I don't really know what I'm doing," he laughed nervously.

"I can put you in touch with some other advisors of GSAs at other schools if you'd like."

"Yeah, OK."

And that is how Byron came to be sitting in his office one day, with Sam Decatur, who was in one of his general music classes, filling out paperwork to create Vista's first Gay-Straight Alliance club. Byron couldn't stop shaking his head at how things had changed. How different things were for Sam Decatur than they had been for him and Jeff.

"You're lucky, you know." Byron said to Sam.

Sam looked surprised. "How so?"

"This," Byron waved his hands over the GSA paperwork. "I only graduated high school eleven years ago. And yeah, it was in a small town. But the idea of being out in high school was unthinkable. My boyfriend resorted to making terrible fag jokes in the locker room to avoid being beaten up." Byron laughed a little nervously, "I'm not even really out to that many people _now_."

"But you're advising the club."

Byron shrugged. "I guess when there's an announcement about the club, everyone will find out then."

Sam bit his lip. "Do you not want to do this?"

"I want to. I think it's important."

"Why aren't you more out, Mr. Pike?" Sam asked curiously. Then quickly added, "If you don't mind me asking."

"It's OK." Byron thought long and hard. "I was seventeen, maybe eighteen when I came out to my parents and my brothers and sisters. And I really only did it then because my brother accused me of flirting with his girlfriend. And I had this boyfriend who was really good friends with my brothers, and when we came out to them it didn't go so well. My brother and I fought, my boyfriend and my brother fought. I mean, we all made up eventually. Then things didn't go so well when my boyfriend told his dad and stepmom. They _still_ barely talk to each other. And I kind of picked up on the fact that being gay is this thing to fight about. That being gay is something to be wary of telling people you are. But it's really not, you know? I'm fine the way I am and I'm twenty-nine years old. I want you and other gay kids to know that you're fine the way you are also. I want you to learn that a lot earlier than I had to. I want your straight friends and family to learn it too."

"I guess things are better now than in the old days." Sam said with no sense of irony.

Byron laughed. "Old days? I'm not _that_ old, Sam. I just told you it was only eleven years ago!" Byron kept laughing, but realized eleven years must seem like an eternity to a seventeen year old. Eleven years ago when he was coming out to his family, Sam was only six years old.

"Whatever happened to the boyfriend?" Sam asked.

"The one from high school?"

"Yeah.

"Oh. We broke up in college. But we got back together last year. That's why I came to this school. I moved to California with him."

Sam sat up, suddenly paying attention. "You got back together with your high school boyfriend?" he seemed awfully interested.

Byron nodded. He hesitated. "We're getting married next month."

"Where? Not here."

Byron shook his head. "Connecticut. It's not legal there either. We're just doing a ceremony with our friends and family."

"Wow."

"Yeah," Byron raised his eyebrows. He looked at the paperwork. "It looks like you'll need to collect twenty-five signatures from students who support the creation of the club. They don't have to join, just to support it's creation." Byron handed the signature form to Sam. "Good luck."

"Thanks," Sam took the paperwork from Byron and began leaving the office. He stopped in the doorway and turned around. "Mr. Pike?"

"Yes?"

"Thanks for telling me all that. About your boyfriend."

Byron looked up, "You're welcome. I hope it helped you a little."

Sam nodded. "My boyfriend left for college in August. He broke up with me before he left."

"You feeling left behind?"

Sam nodded. "But now I have hope that it's not forever."

Byron smiled. "Good."

My God, did he love his job all of a sudden.


	14. Wedding, part deux

**Room 207 Redux**

Nicky Pike was not a shy man. He was, by all accounts, a people person. In school, he'd never had a problem giving speeches. At the hospital, he was often asked to be the one to instruct new interns on their surgical rotation. And yet, he felt nervous standing here. He was floored when Byron called him a few months ago telling him that he and Jeff were having a 'commitment ceremony,' and they wanted him to act as the officiant.

"Why me?" Nicky had asked.

"Because you're my brother and you're Jeff's friend. And it's always been you, Nick, who's been the most supportive of us." Byron had been trying hard to respect Nicky's wishes and call him Nick.

"I'm a doctor, not a minister," Nicky said.

"Doesn't matter," Byron said airily. "How likely are we to find a minister in Stoneybrook who'd marry us? We can't even legally _get_ married in Connecticut. That's why we're calling it a commitment ceremony. Look, if you don't want to do it..." Byron trailed off.

"No!" Nicky said sharply. "I definitely want to! I'm just surprised to be asked, is all."

"So you'll do it?"

"Yes. Of course I will."

So between several emails and phone calls and a lot of Googling about wedding ceremonies over the course of three months, the three of them managed to piece together their ceremony. It would be short and to the point - neither Byron nor Jeff were especially wordy and eloquent in their language. And since they were cobbling this ceremony together with very little knowledge of how weddings actually worked, they were free to do whatever they wanted and to really make this ceremony their own.

They decided to rent a room at a local restaurant for the occasion. It wasn't a huge room, the seating capacity was just over fifty, which meant that the guest list was reserved for close family and friends only. All of the Pike children were able to make it, Mallory with Ben, Jordan with Corrie and the kids, Adam, Nicky with Maggie, Vanessa with her longtime boyfriend, Margo and Claire. On Jeff's side he had, Mary Anne with her husband and children, Dawn with her boyfriend, Gracie and Richard.

Conspicuously absent were Jack and Carol Schafer. When their reply card had come back in the mail marked _Will Not Attend,_ Jeff silently showed it to Byron, grabbed his cell phone and locked himself in the bedroom. Byron listened at the door, but Jeff was speaking too quietly and Byron couldn't determine who Jeff was talking to.

After an hour, Jeff came out of the bedroom, red eyed. "I'm going to a meeting," he'd said to Byron. "Elliot's meeting me there."

"OK," Byron said. Elliot was Jeff's AA sponsor. Since they'd been living together, Byron hadn't seen Jeff have a need for his sponsor, though Jeff talked about leaning heavily on him in the past. Jeff's life in the program and with Elliot remained a little bit of a mystery to Byron. In fact, he usually forgot about Jeff's alcoholic past unless Jeff brought up the meetings or Elliot.

While Jeff was gone, Byron shuffled through the rest of the mail. There were two other reply cards. The first was from Jeff's friend Leslie, the vegan chef who'd taught him everything she knew before moving to Oregon. She'd replied that she and her girlfriend would attend. The next reply card was from Jeff's half-sister Gracie, who'd also replied yes. Byron smiled, he knew it was good idea to send Gracie a separate invitation from Jack and Carol. (Most teenagers rebel by drinking or sneaking out at night. Gracie Olson-Schafer's teenage rebellion included getting close to Jeff. If she wanted to piss her parents off, it worked.)

When Jeff came back, he was much more relaxed. Byron showed him the other cards, and Jeff smiled widely. "You have people. Just because you don't have your dad and stepmom doesn't mean you don't have people," Byron said to him.

Jeff nodded. "I know. Elliot said he's coming too."

"Good. Are you all right?"

Jeff nodded again. "I'm all right. I'll be fine."

Still, on the day of the ceremony, Byron couldn't help but stare at the place where they would have sat Jack and Carol, but where Dawn and Gracie were sitting instead chatting with Jeff's Granny and Pop-Pop. _Yeah_, Byron reminded himself, _Jeff definitely has people. _

Other people included Shea Rodowsky and his wife, Molly. Haley Braddock, who had moved to the L.A. area around the same time as Byron and had looked them up, was there with her brother Matt. Rex (who, in a surprising move had called Byron out of the blue about six months ago to apologize, and renewed his friendship with both Byron and Jeff) was there with his new boyfriend who, Byron noted wryly, didn't look a day over twenty five. Byron knew his social circle outside his family was small, but he was content with it. Besides, he hadn't been living in California long enough to make friends who are close enough to invite to such an intimate ceremony.

Byron was peeking into the room watching his friends and family mingle. Richard was standing at the front talking to Nicky, who only appeared to be half-listening and concentrating harder on going over the ceremony notes. Adam and Jordan were standing on the other side of Nicky talking quietly to each other. Richard was acting as Jeff's best man (for lack of a better word) and Adam and Jordan were sharing best man duties for Byron.

Rex and his boyfriend were talking to Leslie and her girlfriend. Maggie, Mallory and Ben had struck up a conversation with Elliot and his wife. It was surprising to Byron to see all of these people who'd never met before getting along so well.

"What do you think?"

Byron turned around and saw Jeff standing there, smiling.

"I think it's a good turnout."

Jeff looked over Byron's shoulder. "I think you're right." He grabbed on to Byron's hand. "Are you ready for this?"

"As ready as I'll ever be." Byron said. Byron stood back and waved his hands to get Nicky's attention. Nicky smiled and nodded. He stood up straighter, cleared his throat and waited while Richard, Adam and Jordan took their places and the room quieted down.

"Let's do this," Jeff said.

"Wait," Byron pulled Jeff back. Jeff looked at him with concern. "I love you," Byron said. "Even without all this," Byron waved his hands toward their guests, "I'd still love you."

"I know," Jeff smiled. "I love you too." He looked in and saw every eye was watching them talk in the doorway. "Come on. We've got people waiting for us." And he and Byron walked up to the front of the room slowly, hand in hand.

People watched them solemnly, though the serious nature of the moment was broken by Jordan's two year old son Aidan calling out, "Hi Bine! Hi Jep!" Byron and Jeff laughed and waved to their nephew.

When they got to the front of the room, standing before Nicky, he smiled at them before starting to speak.

"When two people choose to be committed to each other for life, it doesn't matter what the law says. That there are two people who are willing to be with each other and forsake all others is a beautiful thing. How fortunate for us that we get to be here to witness the joyful union of these two men, Jeffrey Charles Schafer and Byron Joseph Pike. As Byron and Jeff stand here before us to proclaim their love and their commitment, we rejoice with them and for them as they undertake a life together.

"Both Byron and Jeff recognize that they learned their ability to love and learned that love is a natural state of being, from their parents. So today, Byron would like to recognize his parents, John and Dee Pike as shining examples of a loving relationship. Jeff would like to recognize his stepfather, Richard Spier, who never gave up on him and never gave up on love. We would observe a moment of silence to remember Jeff's mother, Sharon Spier, who is certainly watching from above with a smile on her face. And so we thank John and Dee and Richard and Sharon for making today possible, not only for Byron and Jeff, but for all of us."

Nicky paused as everyone looked down, some with their hands clasped in prayer thinking of Sharon, and how happy she would be to have seen this day. And no doubt, some were wondering why Jeff's father couldn't be bothered to show up for this event.

Nicky continued. "Love is easy. To love someone is to touch their lives as an artist touches a canvas or a musician plucks a string. Love is reciprocal. Love is giving a piece of yourself in return for getting a piece of the one you love. Love, simply, is the richest part of life. Love comes naturally to most of us, and I can tell you from seeing it that the love between Byron and Jeff is natural and easy.

"But love is not the only thing to make a commitment such as this one work. The commitment will take hard work, faith, patience, and dedication. These things do not come as naturally as the love does, but it's the love behind the hard work, faith, patience and dedication that make it worth it. When two people work together to make one bond, it will not diminish either individual, but will enhance each partner.

"At this point Byron and Jeff have asked that Jeff's stepsister, Mary Anne McCoole, give a reading."

Mary Anne stood up nervously. Forty pairs of eyes rested on her as she cleared her throat nervously. "An Apache Blessing.

"Now you will feel no rain,

For each of you will be shelter to the other.

Now you will feel no cold,

For each of you will be warmth to the other.

Now there is no more loneliness,

For each of you will be companion to the other.

Although there are two bodies,

But there is only one life before you.

Go now to your dwelling place,

To enter into the days of your togetherness.

And may your days be good and long upon the earth."

Nicky smiled and continued. "Who has the commitment rings?"

"I have," Adam said, and pulled the rings out of his pocket and handed them to Nicky.

Nicky held the rings in his hand. "A ring is a perfect circle. Symbolic of a line with no beginning and no end. A ring reminds us of the universe, where all things are possible, as it will be in the union of these two men." Nicky held up the rings, "Let us send good thoughts and prayers to these rings, the symbols of Jeff and Byron's commitment to each other."

Nicky looked in the rings and handed Jeff the ring with Byron's initials engraved inside and handed Byron the ring with Jeff's initials engraved inside.

"Jeff, put the ring on Byron's finger and repeat after me." Jeff slid the ring onto Byron's finger easily and waited patiently for Nicky.

"Byron, this ring is a symbol of love and happiness.

With this ring, I promise to love and respect you my whole life.

To be faithful and honest with you.

To give you encouragement, strength and trust,

To stand with you in times of great sorrow and great joy.

To make our home one of love, understanding, patience and tolerance.

To do good with you, for you and by you.

To always grow with you.

I promise that from this day forward I will be your partner in life

And walk next to you throughout all your tomorrows."

"Byron, place the ring on Jeff's finger and repeat after me."

Byron slid the ring on Jeff's finger and held on tightly as he repeated Nicky's words.

"Jeff, this ring is a symbol of love and happiness.

With this ring, I promise to love and respect you my whole life.

To be faithful and honest with you.

To give you encouragement, strength and trust,

To stand with you in times of great sorrow and great joy.

To make our home one of love, understanding, patience and tolerance.

To do good with you, for you and by you.

To always grow with you.

I promise that from this day forward I will be your partner in life

And walk next to you throughout all your tomorrows."

"Byron and Jeff, remember to treat both yourselves and each other with respect, and remind yourselves often of what brought you together.

"Give the highest priority to kindness toward one another. When frustration, difficulty or fear assail your relationship – as they will threaten all relationships at one time or another – remember to focus on what is right between you, not only the part that seems wrong. Remember that even on cloudy days, the sun is still there. And if it's difficult to remember that, know that when the clouds pass, the sun will be there again.

"And if each of you takes responsibility for the quality of your lives together, and remember to never stop looking for the sun through the clouds, your life together will be marked by abundance and delight.

"As you have consented together in this ceremony to live in a committed union, forsaking all others, and by doing so in front of your closest friends and family, it gives me pleasure to pronounce that Jeffrey Charles Schafer and Byron Joseph Pike are partners for life.

"You may seal your union with a kiss."

Byron and Jeff smiled at each other, and gripping their hands in front of them, leaned in for a kiss. Not too long a kiss, no tongue, but not a quick peck either. A loud cheer came up from their friends and family. After the kiss they held hands and turned to face everyone, and Nicky called out, "Ladies and Gentleman, I present to you the Pike-Schafer partnership."

More cheering as Byron and Jeff walked through their friends and family, giving hugs and kisses and accepting congratulations.

The ceremony had been exactly what they wanted. Short, with a lot of focus on love and the hard work of relationships, and most importantly, a day shared with their friends and family.

There was a small dinner and reception afterward, right in the same room as the ceremony had been. Dinner was good. The reception was definitely quieter than Mallory's, but small and intimate. Neither Byron nor Jeff was much for dancing, but at the urging of several of their friends and family, someone loaded Louis Armstrong's _What a Wonderful World_ onto the stereo and forced Byron and Jeff to dance.

As they danced, they talked. That is how the two of them were, always finding something to talk about.

"Are you happy?" Jeff asked.

"Mmm-hmm," Byron nodded. "The happiest I've ever been."

"I wish we could take a honeymoon."

"We had one, remember? Traveling from New York to Anaheim. We just did things backwards. We had the honeymoon, then the engagement, then the marriage."

Jeff laughed, "Good point. Guess where we're staying tonight?

"At the same hotel where we had the reunion." They had planned it this way because it was convenient and it offered a shuttle to the airport.

"Yeah, but specifically."

"Where?"

"Room 207."

Byron threw back his head and laughed. "Did you do that?"

Jeff smiled and nodded. "I thought it was appropriate."

"God, I love you," Byron said still laughing.

"I love you too," Jeff answered, leaning in for a kiss. The kiss lingered and Jeff whispered into Byron's ear, "How much longer do you think we need to stay before we can get to Room 207?"

Byron chuckled and pulled Jeff in to him tighter and whispered back to him, "As soon as it's appropriate, we are going to leave and I am going to do very bad things to you in that hotel room."

Jeff sucked his breath in. "Let's go. As soon as the song's over."

Byron paused. The song was only about halfway over, so he kept whispering to Jeff, "marital sex is going to be so hot. I'm going to do things to you that have never been done before. You're going to be begging me to stop, then begging me for more."

"God, By," Jeff moaned trying to subtly grind his hips into Byron's without their friends and family all noticing. "You're killing me here. As soon as the song's over we're leaving. Got it?"

Byron laughed again. "Sure. I'm ready to go too."

And so the song came to an end, Jeff and Byron bowed to their friends and family. Jeff called out "Thank you and good night," and grabbed Byron's hand and headed toward the exit.

Byron laughed, he felt light and happy and heady all at the same time. They crossed the street and walked into the hotel where they were staying for the night. Their mood was exuberant, and by the time the elevator got to the second floor, Byron already had Jeff's shirt untucked and his hands down Jeff's pants. They raced to Room 207, where they started the second phase of their journey just a year and a half earlier. Jeff slid the key card through the slot and led Byron into the room where they collapsed against the wall together.

THE END.


End file.
